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| The Appalachian Trail - Hot Springs, NC |
I planned on starting to blog again today - well, I guess I am - aren't I?
I planned on a cohesive, chronological dissertation of my travels, ad nauseum.
Time spent with family and friends -
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| The fabulous - and I do mean fabulous - Janie Fox |
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| My sweetheart of a sister - Vivian |
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| My hysterical, kind, awesome hiking and BBQ eating buddy - cousin Jim. |
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| Rogers, AR - Oh the beautiful places I've been! |
But I can't blog today.
My face hurts from crying too much.
Aaron is gone y'all.
The selfish punk moved to Chicago this past weekend and starts school
TOMORROW.
TOMORROW!
He's in an adorable dorm room on the 10th floor of some University of Chicago building.
He has two adorable roommates - Zacariee and Skyler.
He's so happy and excited.
Maybe a little nervous.
I know what you are thinking - he's not supposed to start school until January - right?
Right.
That's why I planned on being gone for most of October - I thought we'd have plenty of time for holiday celebrations - long talks over peppermint mochas and a long drawn out goodbye.
Nope.
We went down to do some financial papers and the admissions director tells us that he'd like to make an exception and get Aaron in ASAP - the November session if possible.
It was a whirlwind.
I was gone hiking - came home and through a graduation party together for Aaron - then left the very next morning for a few more weeks - came home - and had a week to get Aaron packed and moved up to Chicago.
The stress and sadness of it all promptly made me sick - I'm fighting off a sinus infection or something....
So - I'm not blogging today.
: -)
I'm much too sad.
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| Our celebratory breakfast at Scrambled Diner in Dyer, IN - 8 months ago we sat at this very table and made a list of plans and goals - he met them all! |
I know I should be doing the Riverdance that I've had a hand in raising such a fine young man, full of ambition, hope and promise.
I will - tomorrow.
Love - the very thing that heals your heart sure has a funny way of breaking it at times.
Today?
I look like a wild woman.
I can't flat iron my hair to save my soul.
It looks witch like -
My eyes are bugged out of my head from crying.
The bed is stripped and the sheets have been sitting in the washer all morning.
I don't remember letting the chickens out this morning.
I don't have on a bra.
I think I ate.
I'm wandering aimlessly picking things up and putting them down.
I feel sick to my stomach.
Glenco will come home to a half dressed, swollen eyed, witchy looking wife that is having a bit of a meltdown.
I'm sure he won't notice anything new.
:-)
Talk with you all soon - thanks so much for your continuing support and friendship!
I will be in this boat soon too. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteAw, you poor thing! But, totally understandable. Take today and do what you want or do nothing at all. You (and Aaron) have worked hard to get to this point. Bask in the knowledge that you had a hand in it and the he LOVES you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see that you're NOT posting today... I was getting worried about you!
Looking forward to hearing about all your travels.
It hurts like crazy...and yet, at the same time, it is exhilarating to know he's out there doing and becoming...
ReplyDeleteall of the things you've encouraged him to do, all the things you've challenged him for...
I know as much as it hurts you are one proud Marmie!
xo
thinking of you all. so much going on. i know it will smooth out. big big hugs. aaron will keep you informed of all going-ons.... fun!!! so exciting. leaving the nest & flying. happy dance!!!! (;
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers being sent across the miles- you will make it through this, and the hurt is replaced with excitement for all the new experiences and the journey your Aaron is on.
ReplyDeleteYou and Miss Janie both look amazing- such healthy glows on your faces and skinny fit bodies to match!!
Hang in there kindred spirit!!
Hugs. This too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteBut...and I say BUT....LOOK AT HIS FACE! Can a GRIN actually spread any further from East to West on a face???? Is that photo going to be placed beside the definition of OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD HAPPY?...or what..(that's the silly grin on the face of someone who is flying for the first time!!) You go ahead and get blobby faced and witchy looking...it's what we ALL DO!!! Glenco will understand. He will. And we'll just put a picture of you beside the definition of "Empty Nest for the first time"...and EVERY mom will understand. ;-p Well at least the ones who have been through it...the ones who haven't might whisper to themselves..."I will NEVER look THAT wretched...oh my gosh"...heh heh...we'll see. :-) Get your chin up. Tomorrow. Today, embrace what you feel and let it show. Don't press it down. Let it all out. You will feel better for it. I'll tell you a little something that will let you know I have looked like a sad strange little specimen of a woman...recently...kind of like a red-eyed deer in the headlights look...and maybe it will help you to know....I IDENTIFY. Whilst my Marine is coming back from a Mid-East Deployment, my youngest son has up and joined the Army National Guard... O.O ....and then my second son called me and told me he was pursuing entrance into the Marine Corps....O.O O.O O.O....so let's just say I got hit out of the blue...didn't see it coming ...BUT...we adapt...we are strong. We rise back up and cheer. We do. Cause it's what we were made to do. Prouder than heck...yeah. Working hard to get them where they want to go....yeah...and more than anything I think it's because Having them in our lives Changed US for the better...not the other way around.. and we're just so danged thankful for them...grateful to have had them come into our lives and make it so much better. yep. sending a hug to Indiana. You will smile again. Take that grinning mug shot and post it on your frig, your bathroom mirror, over the oven, on your car dashboard...and you WILL smile...I guarantee it. Keep on. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI can't get past the bacon and butter!! And oh...Aaron will be a natural downtown! And you my dear, are fabulous right there in the country! Put some cukes on your eyes, turn on some music, pull your hair back, put on a bra for heaven sakes...then meet Glenco nekid when he arrives home from work. You'll forget your sorrows for a little while! Exercise does the body good! xxoo
ReplyDeleteThank you for "not blogging" today as I was really starting to worry about you! And here I see you were close to my neck of the woods...here in NC!!! (looking forward to hearing about your hiking trip).
ReplyDeleteHaving (helped) packed up two of my own daughters, I kinda know how you feel :( You and Aaron have such a special relationship (notice I said "have", not had). You still need each other...it just won't be in person. I suspect we'll be seeing more "trips to Chicago" posts in the coming future!
Letting go is never easy, but you helped raise a wonderful young man that will always make you proud!
ReplyDeleteLove your lipstick color in the 4th photo. Care to share what the brand and color is?
ReplyDeleteCongrats to you!!!!!... Been there, Done that!!!... it will get easier, it will!.. Feel good about the fine young man you helped to raise. WOW.. look how far he's come. Look at that smile!
ReplyDeleteIn the midst of blowing your nose, looking in the mirror for yet another good and sad cry...know this.....that deep down you must give yourself a whole bunch of credit for the wonderful love and stability you gave your wonderful young man. He's out in the world making a future for himself....and you have a lot to do with his ability to do this!!
ReplyDeleteWha-ta-girl you are!!!
Take care!
First of all, been wondering where you were, so very glad you didn't blog today. As to your young man, WOW! You have played a huge role in making him the awesome young man that he is and you should be proud, Proud, PROUD!!! But oh parting is such sweet sorrow. Don't worry. That love you have for him, and that he has for you, will always be there!!! Blessings to you!!!
ReplyDeleteHave been wondering when we'd hear from you. Are you actually hiking THE TRAIL?
ReplyDeleteBe glad we have e-mail and skype now. My baby is about to move to Montana-I know how you are feeling.
By the way-you look GREAT.
Have been wondering when we'd hear from you. Are you actually hiking THE TRAIL?
ReplyDeleteBe glad we have e-mail and skype now. My baby is about to move to Montana-I know how you are feeling.
By the way-you look GREAT.
Dear Jayme I just left you a tiny 'hello' on the blog yesterday - makes it a 'happy for us' that you're back & decided not to blog with us today -- we'll do likewise & not be replying back to you that it is totally grrrreat to see your words flying around here once again. I so understand the tears over your boy Jayme - hasn't he done some fantastic life-leaps. Tears 'n sad 'n no bra are absolutely called for - know that your readers come along side of your mixture of your sad/proud. Luv'd the pics. -- your humour still sparkled dispite your aimless wanders Jayme.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Barbra.
I can't tell you how happy I am that you didn't blog today. It was becoming shear over-kill. :)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I am happy you feel comfortable to shared the misery you are going through with all of us out here.
Life is really tough at times. And it really sometimes sucks. But you have invested a whole lot in Aaron and I don't believe that young man will forget for a minute your persistence in guiding him to a better future. He will be back. Think happy thoughts and plan his return!
Oh, my stars! When I read "Aaron is gone" I thought that meant he was dead! My heart truly skipped a beat or two out of fear there! SO glad that it means he's simply moved to a new spot to be amazing at everything he does!(((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from experience here...you gave him wings to fly and he did! What a great job you did! You can go visit anytime you wish and he knows that you will always be there for him at the nest! xoxo
ReplyDeleteSuch a great kid . . . good looking too! Feel happy and honored that you have been such a consistent, faithful, guiding light in his life.
ReplyDeleteYou be happy girl . . . He is Rollin' . . .
Oh- My heart aches for you. I remember when my youngest set off for school- a few hours away. It was so sad- she was my buddy- my eating buddy-my stay up late and chat buddy-my Scrabble partner. Her life became her own and I learned some new things about life after kids- xo Diana You done good, honey....very very good....
ReplyDeleteAwe, hang in there Jayme. Aaron looks sooooo happy, how exciting for him to begin a new phase of his life. I know it's hard to be happy at this particular moment but your symptoms will pass. We here if you need a shoulder and an ear.
ReplyDeleteBridgemor
P.S. I want Aaron's eyebrows! I know, weird, huh. What can I say.
Pssssst....I have an idea. I need a hair make-over. Let's go up there under the pretense that I need a new do! Awwww Jayme, It's gonna be ok girl. I remember when my sister went off to school like that....dammittohell.....I'm so glad she did. And YOU will be so glad Aaron went to school. He'll probably come home for Christmas and you'll get to go through it all over again. And guess what...we'll be right here for ya!
ReplyDeleteCindy Bee
Awww, Jayme,it is so hard to let go! But that is what we do, raise them, teach them right from wrong, then let them fly. It is we who feel the pain, who cry our hearts out, that is the way it is. But they never truly are gone from us, he will be home again, and as he spreads his wings and flies, it is you who can take pride in the man he has become. And, I will let you in on a little secret: Once you get used to it, it can be lovely to have more time for yourself, more quiet time, not having to consider what he likes or doesn't like to eat, no worry that he is out past curfew. Yep, girl, it ain't all bad!! Just give it a little time. Gentle hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh darn it, I was hoping the trails had soothed your soul. Sad face here. I was missing your posts since Phyllis passing and was checking every week, no every couple days, but no posts to be found. Now here you are a hot mess. Oh Jayme! I understand now what took so long for this "non post" to appear. My oldest was in Chicago too. That was nerve racking for this "country mouse" mom. But, she did great and Aaron will too. Your only a phone call away from each other. Its time for him to spread his wings Marmie! You'll be ok, really. Now go check on those hens, bra or no bra. They need some love and maybe some discipline? Glenco will understand and we do too.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!! You gave him the tools to make it!!!! (You will have a great next stage of your relationship).
ReplyDeleteAnd you look soo healthy!
jan
So sorry that you are sad but so happy you called me fabulous. Yay. xoxo I loike peppermint mochas I think. Ill be right over.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I shouldn't have, but I did laugh through your post. I can identify with all those so strong emotions. It's a 'We laughed. We cried.' time. Good luck to you Aaron! You have a terrific aunt.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize I'd missed you so much until you blogged again! Welcome back.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to let go - been there, done that. But it's all good and just keep praying for God's grace through it all. Aaron will be nutured and grow through this experience. Never fear, he will always be "your boy." {{hugs]]~Patysue
awww... it'll be alright. take care of yourself and rest today.
ReplyDeleteblessings
~*~
I am new to your blog... and I must say I know exactly how you feel. 7 years ago I moved my precious daughter halfway across the country and sat through all the praises and lectures from my family and friends about how proud I should be be that I raised such a mature, secure human being... and then I spent the first night without her crying literally all night. And now 7 years later, she's fine, and I am doing okay....though I will admit I still tear up sometimes. ;) It's tough... you should be proud, but trust me, you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteI have been about to burst with pride for Aaron.
ReplyDeleteAnd my heart hurts for you.
Is that not the most confusing thing ever?
I love thee.
xxoo
So proud of Aaron...and sad for you and your sister...empty nests take their toll, don't they? Thinking of you all and praying for a peaceful transition for everyone. ~Vonnie, NH
ReplyDeleteIknow, I know..but everything's gonna be all right. And you look fab in that pink sweater, my dear lady.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you're back... Was missing the sunshine you spread and the chuckles from your posts. Glad you've had a great adventure and a good time. It's your own fault you're sad you made him the awesome young man he is :). You silly goose he's only 40 minutes away. I used to drive it every day for work. I see every other weekend excursions in your future. He is going to be so awesome doing what he's doing and so lucky to have a family that made it possible to be so on course at such a young age. Be PROUD. HUGS.
ReplyDeleteTammy
Cedar Lake
Oh, Jayme. He will be back. And he will keep in touch. When my son was in high school - I made him go to the grocery with me. If he went to the grocery, he could have what he wanted- chicken tenders, pizzas, whatever. If he didn't go with me- no junk - just healthy stuff. So he went with me. As soon as he left for school, there I was wandering around the grocery - my daughter had left years before and suddenly I was all alone. Just me. I wandered about trying to figure out how to shop and cook for one. Crying in the grocery store. OH, it was a sad state of affairs. You will make it! xoxo, Cheryl
ReplyDeleteForgot to tell you.LOVE LOVE the cake.....still laughing...
ReplyDeletejan
Yup. I'm pinning that cake. But seriously in this situation a few months ago my friends and I kept saying "but this is what we want, right? This is what we worked so hard for, right?" It'll get better. I promise.
ReplyDelete