I'm not sure how to start this post.
Thank you all for coming to my defense - it meant so very much to me.
The anonymous comment:
You! Judging someone for weight! That has to be the most sickening
self righteous thing I have ever heard.
This broke my heart up in a million pieces. I really wasn't prepared for it - I had just sat down at the computer for the first time on Friday morning, had my tea - and was pretty much punched in the stomach when I read it. In all the time I've blogged, everyone has been really nice.
I'm not saying that the person that wrote that comment isn't nice - she or he is just stating what they think and believe, and I won't fault them for that.
I wasn't going to delete the comment just to make things 'all nice' here - that's not being authentic.
I thought about making it impossible to leave anonymous comments here - but I don't want anyone that doesn't know how to set up an account to feel left out and not be able to comment.
I can say that I cried on and off about three times over it.
Cried when I mopped the floor, cried when I vacuumed, and cried when I got comments defending me.
I felt sickish to my stomach most of the day.
I really wish I didn't let things like this bother me - but I do.
My first thought was to go to Dairy Queen.
My second thought was to write a blog right away defending myself.
I don't think innocent people need to defend, or explain themselves. I did nothing wrong - just shared a raw thought, and we all have those. Why I share so much, I have no idea! I wish I could just share decorating ideas and recipes and be done with it - but life is about so much more than all of that - and I feel the need to talk about it.
Hopefully - you feel the need to read about it.
For those of you that really do know me, or can get a real sense of what I truly am like by reading my blog - you know that I'm not being all high and mighty since I lost weight. On the contrary - I have this sense of humility and wonderment over the whole thing - I feel like I've survived the Holocaust or something, and I think 'how did I survive? How did I escape?'
I'm seriously humbled by the whole experience.
Would the lady at the school get around easier if she lost weight? Yes. True statement.
The fact that I assumed it was her weight causing her to limp was what bothered me about myself - it's like assuming someone that falls asleep in church doesn't love God as much as I do - when perhaps they've been up all night on a bedside vigil of a sick child.
Do you see what I'm getting at?
Did I just defend and explain m'self?
Good things have come from this though - I feel like my skin has thickened a little - and it needs to - I felt incredibly loved by so many people - I got texts, emails and awesome comments.
To anonymous - if you are reading this - I just want to thank you for speaking your mind - I want to thank you for reading my blog - I'd love to give you a big hug.
Now let's lighten up around here.