Restless in Indiana

It's happening again.

I'm all restless up in here.

It happened this time last year too....

It's the worst symptom of ADHD I have.

I'm as restless as a worm on a hot brick.

So I'm told.

I used to think it was anxiety - but come to find out that anxiety is based in fear - the definition being -

 A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

That's not me - in fact it might be better if I did worry about uncertain outcomes a bit more!

Restlessness -

Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest

So what do I do when I get like this?

I used to eat.

Now - I struggle not to eat - and I go to the library.

On today's agenda -

Plan the rest of my life.

But then it was a nice sunny day - and I can't plan important things on those kinds of days.

Nay - I need a good gloomy, stormy day for life planning.

I'm even laughing as I type it!

I just wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I used to want to be an actress or a forest ranger.

I still want a DNR shirt - I have a patch fetish.

And if I were a DNR agent?

I could SO tell people to tidy up their campsites, with authority.

Until I figure it out - I reckon I'll tend birds, grow things, vacuum, make tinctures and ointments and spill my guts on the Interweb.

I keep thinking there's something more out there for me to do - and I'm missing it.

Oh!  and before I take my leave - I'll say that this camping trip was the best ever.

As in - I enjoyed myself.

Some of the best hiking ever.

I rode a flipping horse (not the pony in the picture)

I conquered the fear.

You should have seen the horse person (what do you call them?) when I asked for a lame or near death horse.

I rode Bubbles.

She was nice.

I almost fainted once - and nearly vomited a few times, but all in all - it was good.

My bee stung hand calmed down enough to hold the strings.  They are strings - you can call them reins - but they are strings.

Controlling a large animal with a string? 

See - that's what starts scaring me.

And then the teeth - and the eyes - and the sheer strength of an animal that size, that given the right opportunity would run like the wind -

OK - I have to stop - I'm getting faint again.

Back to life planning....

What did you want to be when you grew up?



This Post Brought to You by the Makers of Benadryl

Camp much?

Fear death by serial killer on site #68?

You need -

You'll sleep right through the campground devilment.

Keep bees?

Stung much?

You need -

Oh, it really won't take the swelling out or anything, but it will knock you out for a few hours, thereby making you completely unaware of your misery.

And this sums up my week - I'm ready to embark on a week-long camping trip with a club hand.

Glenco is helping me in the bathroom -

The BoyChild ties my shoes.

As the one that 'does everything for everybody' it will be a great lesson in humility.

It actually got much worse after I took these pics, and finally split open and started oozing.

I can tell it's getting better now though - I can curl my fingers a wee bit now.

I have hopes of conquering my horse phobia by actually mounting a horse this week.

Now - if I could just get over those danged cotton balls and mustard.

Have a great week!

Welcome to Starclucks

Welcome to Starclucks -

Please step to the back of the line...



My name is Stubbes and I'll be your barista today....

Your drink size choices are...

And let's just say, who ever laid that big egg, has an aching 'venti' this morning....

OK - for this to be remotely funny - you must know the 'hole' the egg comes out of is called a vent.

Really, it's the height of cleverness if you think about it -

Please humor me - I have bee venom coursing through my veins - and I'm all like - I need to blog - put my hand is so swollen I can't type -

Pity comments please.

Thankyouverymuch.



Wellness Wednesday - The Broccoli Edition

Gracious.

I love broccoli.

It's my vegetable love affair of the month.

I steam it, I roast it, I saute it -

I eat about two cups a day -

not a big fan of it raw.

The following is from Wikipedia -

Broccoli is high in vitamin C, as well as dietary fiber; it also contains multiple nutrients with potent anti-cancer properties, such as diindolylmethane and small amounts of selenium.^[7] A single serving provides more than 30 mg of Vitamin C and a half-cup provides 52 mg of Vitamin C.^[8] The 3,3'-Diindolylmethane found in broccoli is a potent modulator of the innate immune response system with anti-viral, anti-bacterial and anti-cancer activity.^[9][10] Broccoli also contains the compound glucoraphanin, which can be processed into an anti-cancer compound sulforaphane, though the benefits of broccoli are greatly reduced if the vegetable is boiled.^[11] Broccoli is also an excellent source of indole-3-carbinol, a chemical which boosts DNA repair in cells and appears to block the growth of cancer cells.^[12][13]

Steaming broccoli for 3–4 minutes is recommended to maximize potential anti-cancer compounds, such as sulforaphane.Boiling reduces the levels of suspected anti-carcinogenic compounds in broccoli, with losses of 20 – 30% after five minutes, 40 – 50% after ten minutes, and 77% after thirty minutes. However, other preparation methods such as steaming, microwaving, and stir frying had no significant effect on the compounds.

Broccoli has the highest levels of carotenoids in the brassica family. It is particularly rich in lutein and also provides beta-carotene.

Broccoli.

It's what's for supper.

I'm sitting here struggling a bit on how to start all of the drivel.

I'm going to tell you how I eat.

Let me preface it by saying, I'm not saying YOU should eat this way, or that the Bootcamp requirements are that you eat this way.

My Coach gave all of us in Bootcamp a week's challenge to drop wheat, dairy, soy, and all processed foods.

I went through the five stages of mourning.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

I literally cried on day three - 'I can't eat anything', 'there's nothing that I can eat', 'I can't live like this'.

Coach warned me that if I didn't stop thinking about what I couldn't have, and focus on what I could have - I'd never be successful.

I woke up on Day Four feeling like a new woman.

Gals - I just kept eating that way after the week's challenge was up.

I haven't been perfect, and it's not about being perfect - it's not about saying 'I'll never eat X again'.

I'm more in acceptance now that it's just much better for me not to eat certain foods - especially processed foods containing preservatives and artificial colors, which really make my brain squirrely - wheat and dairy - wow - I had no idea they did such a number on me.

Remember in my early videos - I kept sucking my snot?  Ha - ya, I don't do that anymore without dairy.  If I have a latte or something now - I will be so congested, coughing up phlegm (sorry Janie) - and you don't want to be around my backside.  Glenco calls it 'my dairy aire'.  Clever boy.

Wheat?  I just get a bad stomach ache and feel awfully fatigued.

I could talk for the rest of the day about fatigue.

Oh girl - did I have it.  I pushed myself through everyday of my life it seemed.

Sheer stubbornness got me through most days.

So what do I eat?

Meat, eggs, fruit and veggies.

Occasionally, brown rice, sweet potatoes, oatmeal and nuts.

A little olive oil.

Water, tea.

One meal a week, I eat whatever I want - I'm still working on that so that it's not a bingey type meal that makes me feel sick.

My pantry is completely empty now other than a few cans of black beans and tomatoes.

All my food's in the fridge.

I don't eat food that has more than one ingredient for the most part!

Yep.

I know.

Y'all are clutching your chest right about now right?

Trust me.

You are talking to the gal who's very identity was in the loaf of bread she made.

Who's very self-worth was based on what she served guests for dinner.

I am a food addict.

I'm not joking.

For me to have this transformation?

It's epic.

I really didn't feel that I could do it on my own.

I'm so thankful for Coach.

I have struggled all my life.

Overweight.

Fatigue.

Achiness.

ADHD.

Bouts of mild depression.

Since eliminating certain foods, I feel a new.

I'm bounding with energy.

I have no PMS or menopausal symptoms whatsoever. (remember, I'm pert near 50)

I sleep like a baby.

I'm alert and mentally focused.

I have no bad hunger pangs.

I feel more in control of other areas in my life.

My blood pressure is text book perfect.

My self esteem is through the roof.

I want to keep this short today, because I don't want to overwhelm you with information.

What does a typical day in the Coop Keeper's kitchen look like now?

Breakfast - my beloved homemade turkey breast sausage and two cups of fruit.

Lunch - nice portion of chicken breast, sauteed in one teaspoon of olive oil with onions, garlic and whatever veggie I happen to have a lot of  - could be spinach, tomatoes, broccoli - I put about 3 cups of asst. veggies in the pan and cook til tender.

Dinner - perhaps I'll make a Rosemary Turkey Meatloaf, mash some cauliflower, and have some fresh green beans.

Snack - more fruit

I want to share this link with you - my friend Marne is on a similar journey, and is having similar results of feeling fantastic.

We are all in this together - and together we can help each other be successful.

Please let me know if you are on this journey, and blog about it so I can link to your blog next week!

Eat clean my friends!

 

Nothing Makes Me Happier Than.....

Zinnias.

$5 worth of seeds.

A profusion of delight.

Z-           any

I-    mpulsive

N-        atural

N-    ostalgic

I-    ncredible

A-         nnual

S-           eeds

Bootcamp!!

Alright you guys!
This is how I lost 50lbs this spring.I'm still working it - though not with the intensity I did during the Bootcamp.I have so much I want to say about this whole thing right now, but I don't want to dump it all on you now - I just wanted you to know the program that I did - and that it's coming up again soon, so you can do it too! OK, I will just say this one thing. Hippocrates said - Let food by thy medicine, and medicine by thy food. Why is it that we never want to take the responsibility of our health into our own hands?Why is it that it's easier to run to the Dr. and get pills when we are fatigued (plague of our generation), depressed or have high blood pressure? I'm not trying to preach, by any means, as I still struggle - and I know how hard the struggle is.I still have to literally take it one day, sometimes one meal at a time. This is what I know for SURE.When I eat no processed foods, wheat, or dairy - I feel like a million bucks.I have energy, I think clearly, I feel happy, I lose weight, I sleep well, I don't have PMS or menopausal symptoms. When I do eat it?I'm a hot mess of hormones, fatigue and depression. The choice seems easy - but it's not. I plan on talking about my weight loss, clean eating journey every Wednesday until I'm drivel-less on the subject.That way, if you have no interest, you can avoid me on Wednesdays. I hope you'll join me! Click here to get on Coach David Greenwalt's Early Bird email list.You won't regret it.You'll thank for me eternity.And send me gifts. If you have any questions at all, please email me instead of leaving them in the comments -thanks so much!

What Did I Do to Deserve This?

The pillow is still missing.

For reals.

The house is scoured, and I do mean scoured.

I have no idea where this week has gone.

Now that the BoyChild is on summer break, and here more often than not - I feel fragmented.

We are up to tom foolery all the live long day, and there is part of me that thinks I need to be more regimented, and another part of me that will rue the day I regiment myself when he's grown and long gone and I'm alone, again, naturally.

Here's the week in photos - not sure that words are necessary.

What do I see here?

The beauty of summer, the frivolity of youth, and a life where clocks are paid no never mind.

A life who's to do list is started with

'find the beauty'.

photo by the BoyChild

A life deeply breathed.

A life in slow motion.

Where the breaking of beans keep the time.

A life that finds entertainment unplugged.

A life ripe with possibilities.

A life where joy, happiness and appreciation are cultivated with the same fervor

that berries and beans are.

 A life where we promise each other to never get old in spirit.

A life in which the weather is measured by how fast the laundry dries on the line...

photo by istockphoto

And the summer nights are spent watching nature wind down for the day.

So, would somebody please tell me what in the sam hill I did to deserve all of this?

I Think the Coop is Hainted

Haints.

It's what my mom called ghosts.

I'm not sure I believe in them - I mean - it's just too creepy to even think about it - so I don't think about it.

I have no idea how to even begin to tell you this story in a way that it'll make a lick a sense.

It all started with a chicken - which I can't even start that story yet - cause that's a blog post all in itself, and I want the pictures to back that one up.

But THAT is a mystery of epic proportions, and I'll try to tell that story this week.

It involves a chicken returning home with a broken leg after being missing for nearly a month - it involves someone stealing Phyllis's eggs right up from an under her - and something nearly ripping the head off of another chicken.

Mayhem.

Haints.

Mysteries.

That's what my life is all about anymore, so it seems.

Notice anything missing in the above picture?  How it differs from the first one?

If you've had your coffee this morning, you'll notice that the pillow is missing.

It's been missing for a week.

Like, as in , no where in this house.

I have four pillows.  Two go on the couch, one on each chair.

I fluff them everyday, and I always know where my pillows are.

I swear.

And then - last Tuesday - there were three.

I searched the house from top to bottom, which makes no sense cause the pillow never leaves the livingroom.

Let me interject here that I really don't like these pillows, and plan on recovering them. 

I just needed you to know that.

Ok - so, the pillow is gone. 

Glenco and The BoyChild promise me that they aren't playing a prank on me, and in fact - it's starting to annoy them as much as it is me.

I even called one of my friends and asked her if she was toying with me.

For us OCD sufferers, you don't play cruel jokes like moving things in the house.

I'm just NOW getting to the point where I can have mismatched flatware in the same drawer. 

That took years of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Glenco is trying to comfort me saying that 'Maybe you only had three pillows all along honey' - which makes me feel half crazy with anger - really?  Only three?

I told him it would be like him opening the garage and his motorcycle is missing - the one he rides to work every.day. and I told him -

"Maybe you never really did have a motorcyle".

We came home from a weekend camping trip yesterday to find more mayhem.

A banty rooster dead.

This clock - an hour ahead - out of the blue - an hour ahead.



All of my cordless phones dead.

And - my refrigerator - dead.



Granted, it did storm while we were gone.

BUT, it's still weird.

No sign of power failure anywhere else in the house.

There's is still a dead banty rooster.

The pillow is still missing.

And he's not talking.

In fact, he won't even make eye contact with me.

Shenanigans indeed.

Is the Pink Chicken Dead?

RIP Pink Chicken?

Not so fast....

Just because I haven't talked about it, doesn't mean I haven't been living it.

Let's recap.

If you are a new reader, and you have no idea what I'm talking about click on 'Self Imposed Poverty' under my labels to catch up if ya'd like.

June sucker punched the Pink Chicken right in the beak.

She fell - and she couldn't get up.

It wasn't pretty for a few weeks.

So many unexpected expenses, it just seemed like my pockets had holes in them all the ding dang month.

I looked on Monster.com quite often.

I hemmed.

I hawed.

I worried.

I fussed and fretted.
"I" wanted to fix it.

I felt like a failure when July 4th came and went and I wasn't out of debt.

I comforted myself with the thought that to fail at something meant you were trying.

I still live without.

Without more than I think many people are willing to give up.

I won't pay for texting, fancy TV stations or eating out.

I've eaten out once in five months - (I mean sitting down with a waitress - I have gone through McD's for an occasional chicken salad in a pinch).
You'd be surprised what you think are necessities that aren't.

I wash my Ziplocs.
I make my laundry soap.
I hang it laundry the line to dry - winter and summer.
I've gone to the mall once in the last year.
I don't look at catalogs that come in the mail.
99% of my wardrobe is from the resale shop.

I gave Glenco the bill folder and told him I didn't want to do it anymore - to let me know when I needed to go get a job.
He hasn't mentioned it yet - seems he cottons to having me meet him at the door with a cold glass of iced tea in hand, having time to chat about his day.
Seems he cottons to a house in order, a happy wife and an endless supply of clean underwear.

My heart's desire is to cultivate a quiet life.
A life that is peaceful, rich in contentment.
A life that is worth living -
a life unencumbered by debt and living beyond my means in order to help those living below theirs.
True needs that I haven't been able to meet because I was busy meeting my wants.

It sounds easy in theory.
It's not.
This summer I've been on a journey of living without.
Living without certain foods I'd love to indulge in.
Living without material goods I'd love to indulge in.
Sometimes I'm content.
Sometimes I pout.

As I sit here and type this from my unfinished front porch, feeling leaner than I have in years, feeling more peaceful than I've ever felt I can tell you most assuredly -

Busyness is not a virtue.

Less.
Is.
More.

Something I Know For Sure

Life changes.

Constantly.

Sometimes for good, sometimes for not so good.

So - my thought for the day is this -

If you find yourself in a crap storm right now - hold your breath - change is coming.

If your life is nothing but silver linings and happy time smiles and sunshine right now?

Enjoy.

Every.

Freaking.

Minute.

Change is coming.

It's inevitable.

Sometimes it takes you by surprise, and you realize that you've been worrying for nothing.

Other times, it takes you by surprise, and you realize you should have been more concerned than you have been.

I think the sooner we accept it, the better off we are.

And with that - I'll bid you adieu for the day!

Please know that my eyes are fine, and I was laughing the entire time the video was shot.  It was HOURS after the starch incident.

That's just how I laugh when I get really tickled.

Also know, that I'm working with my Coach now to bring the Bootcamp to you!

There is hope, no matter how long you've struggled with your weight - no matter how discouraged you presently are - no matter if you've just about given up.

Change - it's a comin'.