Tales from the Coop Keeper

The Post With No Name

2012-01-27T09:29:00.002-06:00

I'm clean out of names for this post.

How in the Sam hill do I begin to thank you for all of your wonderful wishes!?

I loved reading them all - in fact, I read them each more than once and it just put such a smile on this 'old' gals face!

Shall I list my gifts?

Yes.

Brooks running shoes - custom fit from Glenco. Swoon worthy.

Now I have to do something to honor those shoes!

An electric tea pot from Aaron - cutest thing ever - red - adorable and the boy knows I'm having a serious love affair with tea.

A Spiderman belly ring from my cousin Jim. Uber cool!

Dinner out from my fab friend Donna. Thanks girl!

Flower arrangement from my bosom friend Gina - a shopping trip and a new outfit to come - after I lose this last ten pounds!

Tomorrow night out with my sis and new brother in law - dinner and more fabulous gifts to come (according to Aaron).

Something handmade from my dear friend Renee - to come.

A personal workout with my Coach and a vintage apron from my New Zealand kindred spirit Fiona.

The crazy hat you see in my pic from my Boot Camp buddy Laura.

I even got an beautiful card and key chain from a blog reader Lisa!

Thanks Lisa!!!

My day ended up being nice and quiet.

I love me some quiet.

In between birthday phone calls, texts, flower deliveries and UPS gift deliveries (a girl can dream - although I did get one lovely bouquet delivered!) I got out me paint brushes.

Ever since I saw this picture on Pinterest - I've been a woman obsessed.

I've got to do something similar in my office.

I want it to be a space where I just long to linger - and sew - and write - and create.

Because I have such a small, 'charming' home - my studio will have to be an office/craft room/pantry/storage area.

I'm OK with that.

Orange has been my new favorite color - and I had some orange paint - so this is what I did. I'm not sure the photos are going to translate well here - but let's give it a go.

I didn't plan on 'decoupaging' when I painted it orange, it was just a fly by night decision - and after I did decoupage it - I wasn't happy with the orange - which is just really - whatever, aye?

I have to apologize for the photos in this post. I actually took pictures of the process, had nice photos of the shelves without food so you could see the vintage recipe ads that I had decoupaged on the walls - and now they won't transfer to the computer. I had to quickly take photos with my phone and then email them to myself just now, and well, honestly, I'm mortified at how terrible they are!

It really looks MUCH cooler than this.

As you can see, I don't have much food in my pantry.

Most of my food is fresh and in the fridge.

Please note that the canned goods - although sparse, are alphabetized.

Don't hate.

I have some rogue crackers left from Christmas dinner.

The chickens will probably end up with them.

I'm hoping to have this project done real quick like.

Glenco's been taking measurements for the desk, and I'm thinking about paint colors for the walls.

I cooked what possibly could be the best beef stew that ever was.

I bought some meat from Whole Foods on the way back from my weekend away (eek! just realized I never posted pictures! I'm so discombobulated!)

It was grass fed, humanly raised beef - and it tasted like the meat I remember as a kid.

I'm ruined.

How will I ever just buy beef at the regular store now!?

How!?

I have to share the recipe with you - it's from 'Clean Eating' magazine.

Picked Aaron up from school - which I normally only do on Wednesday when he spends the night - but he gave me the 'but I want to spend time with you today' spiel and I fell for it.

: -)

Enjoyed his company through dinner.

The child is amazing.

He's not all sullen up like I had worried he would be as a 16 year old.

He's charming.

He's affectionate.

He's super chatty.

He's quite mature in many ways, and immature in the ways that it seems he should be at this age.

And that's OK.

You've got to give the people you love room to grow - room to be themselves.

I love watching him blossom.

After he left, I hunkered down with my lemon tart and my favorite polygamist family 'Big Love'.

Lord. That show.

Talk about guilty pleasures.

I've got to get myself running now - so no more time to chat, and yet - so much more to chat about!

I want to share my two new recipes with you - and I want to encourage you that eating gluten free is EASY! You can do it - and I would so encourage you to try it - you'd be surprised at how much better you'd feel. Trust me, I was so hesitant to do it - because it was trendy - and I'm the furthest thing from trendy. In fact, I'm quite rebellious. If gluten free is the rage, then I'm eating some serious gluten!

I also wanted to remind you that my Coach's Boot camp sign up is MONDAY!

You only have a few more days to get signed up on the Early Bird Email List.

If you are sitting on the fence about this - and you want to join, but you are scared, or otherwise indecisive...please....email me your phone number and I will call you and talk to you.

It's life changing. : -)

So much to say, so little time.

I'm literally bristling with thoughts and ideas and hopes and goals and assorted nonsense.

Bristling I tell you!

Til next time - be kind to each other.

My Name is Sally O'Malley...

2012-01-26T06:55:00.000-06:00

Today is 'the' day.

I'm 50.

50!

I like to kick, and stretch- and kick....

Of course it doesn't feel a bit different than 49.

What do I want for my birthday?

It's different than Christmas.

I want presents baby!

I don't want cake - I don't want a fancy night out on the town - I don't want jewelry -

I want a big truckload of horse manure.

I want boxes of baby chicks and turkey poults.

I want trees and shrubs.

I want workout clothes and barbells.

I want a CrossFit membership and a bucket to puke in while I'm there.

I like where my life is going - but I want more.

I have felt a bit goal-less lately - a bit in limbo - and it's time for it all to change.

I know it sounds silly to say - but it feels like the clock is running faster and faster these days, and if I'm not careful I'll have some regrets.

Aaron is sleeping upstairs as I type this - it's almost time to wake him for school.

He's wanting to stay home today - says my birthday should be a National Holiday.

:-)

Nice try Aaron, nice try.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with today.

I thought of heading out and spending the day alone - going to my favorite places like JoAnn fabrics, Barnes and Nobles, and the gym.

I thought of calling a friend to spend the day with me.

I thought about making a gluten free Lemon Tart.

I thought about tearing apart my office and painting it.

Perhaps I should stay home so I can accept all of the flower and gift deliveries.

(Please email me if you need my address!)

Perhaps I'll have a conglomeration of it all.

One thing is for certain - tonight I will sit on the couch with Glenco, watch Season Five, Disk Two of Big Love and knit.

And eat lemon tarts.

One thing I know for sure - I want to sit down and get my head together.

I need a big goal to shoot for -

maybe another marathon or something.

I don't cotton to this willy nilly feeling I've had lately - no clear direction - just floating along.

I also need to finish up my 50 Random Acts of Kindness this week - I missed a few days when I was sick.

I need to tell you about that project. I hate to use words like 'amazing and life changing' but it really was in so many ways.

THANK YOU.

Thank you for being here - thank you for all the laughs and encouragement you've given to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Death by Triangle Pose - A Greek Yogurt Tragedy

2012-01-24T21:06:00.000-06:00

I know.
Today's post was supposed to be about my icy hiking trip.

Tomorrow - I promise.

After today's turn of events - I had no choice but to blog about this.

Yoga class.

The Yoga studio was kind enough to let me opt out of Boot camp and go to a Yoga II class on Tuesday mornings.

Namaste baby.

I'm still not quite over my illness, but I thought I'd be good to go.

Let me preface this by saying that I discovered this product recently:

Pretty balanced in carbs and proteins, I thought that they might make a good breakfast or snack while I was away.

I packed a cooler full.

Did I mention I was sick and feverish when I was packing?

If you've been around the blog long enough - you know I don't eat dairy.

You know that it makes me bloated, smelly, depressed, achy and promotes symptoms of menopause.

I just thought it would 'be ok' for a couple of days, and that I could deal with a little bloating.

I hate eating out every meal when I go away.

Hate.

It.

I ate six in the last few days.

I entered Yoga class today full of promise.

I unrolled my lovely mat and thought I was looking pretty good in my new yoga pants and tightly fitted v-neck 3/4 sleeve gray t-shirt.

My breasts looked good.

I'm just saying.

It was all smoke and mirrors and a good bra - but for all practical purposes - they were looking good.

My bare feet looked lovely as I sat in lotus pose waiting for class to begin.

There was peace, tinkling music and a lot of elderly people.

I was feeling it.

We started out by lying on a bolster 'opening our sternum'.

My breathing was seamless.

I was in the zone.

In my mind's eye I was lean and limber and entertained thoughts of becoming a yogi master and teaching this very class one day.

I imagined myself floating around the class so graceful - blabbering about chakras.

I decided I'd start listening to tinkling music at home, and burning incense, and talking softly and slowly - about important things.

Then we stood up.

I noticed every time I bent over, I felt quite faint.

Oh gosh - really faint.

Faint, like as in - I'm gonna faint.

And we kept bending over.

Over and over.

I thought maybe my ears were all plugged with snots and I'm just off balance.

Then I noticed a sensation that I've never felt before.

Skin aflame.

Slight heart palpitations.

Sweating.

Nausea.

I was in triangle pose and I was holding on to it for dear life.

I began to shake and I thought I was going to go down - right then and there - and sheer willpower - not wanting to be embarrassed kept me vertical.

For five more seconds.

Go down I did.

I tried to do it gracefully, and I think I did - but the yoga instructor came by to make sure I was OK.

I nodded 'yes, yes - just still perhaps a bit too sick to be out' is what I said - but I was hoping some how or another he heard 'I'm dying - call 911'.

I sat there trying to cool off, calm down and not vomit as I watched all the obese 75 year old women in the room holding the pose. I was scolding myself sharply.

"Jayme! Why didn't you take care of yourself when you were younger!? Why did you go to Dairy Queen so much!? Why don't you exercise more?? You can't even do 20 minutes of yoga without dying!"

It was right about then I realized what was happening.

Sure, I'm still a little sickly - but a triangle pose shouldn't kill me.

I did a half marathon for goodness sakes!

I lift weights!

It was a bloody hot flash.

An epic hot flash.

A Greek yogurt dairy inspired hot flash.

I've never felt one like it.

I was on fire. I was dying. I wanted to strip nude and run outside and find a dirty snow bank to roll in. I wanted to puke and faint, and roll up in the fetal position.

After a couple of minutes I was able to get back up - and do the rest of the class with no trouble.

I left feeling refreshed, a little taller and much calmer.

Hot flashes.

Please tell me - how in the world do you endure them?

Endure them I won't.

I've not had one since I started eating clean, and I've never had one as bad as today - and I shan't be eating dairy again if that's the effect I'll get.

where is the love?

2012-01-23T15:51:00.001-06:00

Right here baby.

Just in from my birthday extravaganza weekend....

I'll tell you all about it and slap up some pictures, most probably tomorrow.

Just wanted to share this picture with you.

Just found it on the camera.

Glenco snapped it last week.

Is he not the most beautiful boy you've ever done seen?

I think so too.

This That and Me Dad.

2012-01-20T10:42:00.000-06:00

Looky what I got yesterday!

Here's the love train that brought it to me....

Sandy and Larry - she brought me some beautiful citrus too.

Oh, how I love citrus!!

I ate the wheat noodles - I had to believe that the love in the bowl cancelled out any negative effects.

I did have quite a belly ache last night though.

Worth it - I felt so loved.

This is all I accomplished yesterday.

I had books to read, but my head hurt too much to comprehend.

I do believe I have bronchitis and a side order of a sinus infection.

Wanted to give you an update on the burger.

It's not changing.

It's two weeks old today.

I keep seeing things on the interweb about McD's burgers - several years old that look just like mine.

I keep thinking I need to make a homemade burger for comparision.

I'm begging you to eat real food!

I wanted to say more about my father.

I had to say more.

I feel that I may have disrespected my beautiful father, and for my conscious sake - I need to say more.

My father was beautiful to behold.

He had a whole John Wayne vibe about him - and he was funny as heck.

He'd lose sleep over things like fussing at me for wasting paper, or when a stray cat that was hanging out by our back door went missing.

In fact - he had a dream about that cat, and that it was at a shelter - he went to the shelter and it was indeed there - he adopted it back out.

Goodness lived in that man's heart.

That's what's so sad about mental illness. You can truly see that the real person is locked inside.

As I said in a previous post - I never knew my father to be anything but kind, peace loving and so extremely tender hearted toward us all.

The man took me to the Dairy Queen on Indianapolis Blvd. every single night after supper.

Just us two.

Large cone.

Bring it Daddy!

I have a stinkin' suspicion it's why DQ feels like love to me to this day.

He took one little brown pill a day that resembled an M&M and my mom kept them on the highest shelf in the pantry to keep us out of them.

He went for monthly counseling sessions.

He was really managing his illness well.

He was a carpenter at the steel mills on the South side of Chicago.

He used to holler out measurements in his sleep.

I still laugh thinking of it.

My mom said he'd grab her legs thinking they were two by fours while he'd holler out '4 and 3/4's'.

Now that's just funny - I don't care who ya are.

My father adored my mother, and my mother adored my father.

You know my mom - gracious - if you wanted to meet an incredible woman - look no further - she was incredible. There's not enough that could be said about her goodness.

You know she never spoke a bad word to any of us about my father?

Never.

Truly it wasn't until 1988 when things started unraveling.

Mom noticed it right away - I just noticed dad seemed extra chatty.

There were happy times in between the hard times.

What I really wanted to share with you was this - a note that a dear friend - Peggy - sent to me after reading the blog.

Peggy was two years older than me - and really more of my sister's friend than mine - but she lived next door at was at our house often as a child.

We reconnected a few years ago when the local paper featured my blog and did an article about keeping backyard chickens.

We've become friends all over again.

The gifts that this blog has given me are numberless!

In all the years, days and hours I spent at your house as a child and young adult, I would never have imagined your father as anything but a sweet, naturally peaceful man. Despite the episode early on in their marriage, there is no doubt in my mind your mother and father were anything but utterly devoted to one another and the gaggle of girls they were raising in that oh, so tiny, oh so tidy English basement apartment.
My father's history is similar...only he never sought help...and as such, as you know, most of our days as children were a living nightmare.

I am glad my only memories of your childhood home are those of feeling the love in that little apartment and being embraced and accepted. Your father and I constantly teased one another and your mother was a role model for the patience and understanding i initially copied in the early years of raising my own family. I'm so happy, grateful and fortunate your family accepted and embraced me as a kid. It truly made a difference and helped shape me into the adult I am today. I love you, my friend. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. The divine in me bows to the divine in you.

My father leaves a legacy.

It's not a legacy of insanity, it's not a legacy of hurt, or pain.

It's a legacy of goodness.

It's a legacy of love and humor and the strength of the human spirit.

When you mature enough to look past your own pain, and see the pain others carry and endure - it's most often a beautiful, haunting thing.

My father was beautiful, and I'm oh so glad he was my father.

I wouldn't have traded him for the world.

In the sixteen years that life was insanity - I would have traded the situation - but not him.

I do believe it all happened perfectly, and it's why I'm as compassionate as I am today.

Be kind to people.

We are all hurting or struggling with something.

Coop Keeper Down!

2012-01-19T10:02:00.000-06:00

Good morning!

As I sit and type this, I was supposed to be on my way to meet my Coach for a workout and lunch.

Beyond disappointed that I can't make it - but the CoopKeeper is down.

I do believe I gots 'the bronchitis'.

It rears it's ugly head every year around this time.

I've just now managed to get vertical and here it is nearly 10 in the am.

The chickens are feedless.

The cats are chowless.

I just want to give huge kudos to you mothers - who have woken up on days like this - and had a brood to tend. A brood that isn't content poking around in the hay looking for yesterdays leftovers - but a brood that needs diapers changed, etc.

My hat is off to you.
I just can't imagine tending anything today.

So here I have a whole day open.

Tomorrow's plans have been cancelled as well - so that makes two.

Gracious.

What ever will I do?

Maybe I'll rest.

I should.

Maybe I'll knit, maybe I'll not.

Maybe I'll answer all my emails.

Maybe, Mabel.
Maybe.

Just wanted to thank you for yesterday. Thank you for allowing me to share my story.

I just think it's so important that we do share our stories, and that we do stay real and transparent.

Truth is that we all feel crazy sometimes, we all struggle, we all get mad and throw tantrums, we all act ugly, and we all think everyone else has it all together.

Poppycock.

We all have 'stuff' we think that needs to be hidden from the world.

Look at that bird right there - if she ain't hiding something, I don't know who is!

I'm in a really good place right now.

I'm quite content.

Life is calm, quiet and just the way I like it right now.

I just want to remind you again -

take care of yourself.

Really. I'm serious.

Stop trying to control everyone and everything.

You can't even change yourself! Good luck changing someone else.

Put yourself first for a change.

Quit being a martyr.

Do it.

Do it now.

It sounds selfish - but truly - it's the opposite. If you take care of yourself first, you'll have SO much more to give.

Shoot - I suppose today I should heed my own advice.

If only there were some chicken soup up in the house.

: -)

When Your Soul Feels Threadbare

2012-01-18T15:58:00.001-06:00

I'm in the mood to bare my soul.

I'm not sure why.

Perhaps it's the Mucinex, perhaps it's the Dayquil, perhaps it's the low grade fever.

Perhaps, I just need a soul cleansing.

The sun is shining outside in a most deceptive way - you'd think it's almost nice out.

Step outside and the cold will take your breath away!

Nearly single digits.

Glen's napping after getting up at 3am, the cat is on my lap kneading my upper arm and purring loudly.

I'm sick.

I'm disappointed that the workout with my Coach that was scheduled for tomorrow will

probably most likely be postponed.

I have a few friends in a really hard spot right now.

It reminded me of the times, that I too was in a really hard spot - and how you tend to feel when you are in that spot.

Overwhelmed.

Scared.

Mad.

Alone.

Depressed.

We've all been in them - some in deeper, darker places than others.

But you know - you can't judge anyone - or tell someone in a dark hole that your hole is deeper.

It just doesn't work that way.

Today - I want to tell you about why I never had children.

I want to tell you about my father.

Reheat your tea girls - this might be drively.

I was born in 1962 - the fourth and last child.

Four girls.

My eldest sister is mentally handicapped and 14 years older than me.

My next sister lives in Chicago and is 4 years older than me -

my next sister, Aaron's mom - is two years older than me.

Thinking for sure that I'd be a boy - my mom had the name James picked out - hence - I'm Jayme.

I grew up with no other younger children around me.

I babysat in my teen years - not much - but enough to know that I didn't feel that children were

'my thing'.

By the time I was 18/19 years old, the neighborhood I grew up in had changed dramatically, and most, if not all of our neighbors were now broken homes.

Mainly - single moms raising what I will just call 'hooligans'.

You have to realize that this was my perception at 18 years old.

I felt like I never saw a 'whole' family.

Children seemed to be a burden.

Couple this observation with my mother - since I was 13, begging me not to have children.

She begged us all not to have children because my father was mentally ill.

Bi-polar.

Apparently, and I shan't divulge much, because I have great respect and love for my father - but apparently his illness had become so great that he attempted to kill my mother while she was breastfeeding me as a new baby.

I was told that he had a nervous breakdown when I was born.

It was at this time, he committed himself to an institution.

He was there six months.

He remained on Thorazine my entire childhood and well into my adulthood.

When ever I'm tempted to think "I have it so hard" - I remember my mother - living in Chicago with a 14 year old mentally handicapped daughter, a four year old, a two year old, and me, a newborn - with a husband in a mental institution.

No family anywhere to help.

That's a hard time.

I never knew my father to be anything but loving and kind.

In fact, I never ever once heard my parents argue.

He never missed a day's work at the mill in 40 years.

When I think of the fortitude that took, I have the utmost respect for him.

My father's father committed suicide.

My father's twin brother committed suicide.

There have been numerous nervous breakdowns in the family.

And this is why my mother begged us all not to have children.

I obliged willingly - and thankfully Glen was on board.

Bless his heart - he said he'd like to have kids, but he was OK with not having them.

Bless him.

Fast forward to 1988.

We moved out here to Crown Point, Indiana and began friending people that had children.

You have to imagine me like the Grinch on the morning that he realized that Christmas came after all - without presents and decorations...

I was puzzled.

"These people enjoy their children!"

"So THIS is what a family is like!"

"These children weren't 'accidents' - they were wanted!"

I was too busy making this dilapidated old farmhouse a home to really give it all much thought.

It was also the year that my father had a heart attack and took himself off of his Thorazine.

Things steadily went downhill from there with him - as his illness came back with a vengeance.

I can tell you gals that I've seen things a daughter should never see.

I've seen my father completely out of his mind - pacing in a mental institution in his underwear.

I've seen him sit catatonic as I struggled to stay and visit him in the hospital as he never said a word for days - weeks.

I've seen the paramedics come to our house and physically remove him as he tried to hold on to the door jambs crying, begging to stay.

When you are in the throes of that - you feel that it's your only reality - and actually - now that I think of it - when I think back to the times I sat in the car at numerous hospitals and institutions, mustering the courage to start the car and drive home - perhaps it is.

Perhaps it just is something that overtakes your own life.

In the midst of all of this - which went on for over a good ten years - I was mourning my barren womb.

We considered adoption.

We considered surgical reversal of measures we'd taken to never have children.

Glenco felt that he was too old to start a family at 42.

I tried to be understanding.

Also during this time, my mother was gravely ill with emphysema.

My eldest sister was having a lot of gynecological issues at that time that I had to address - and I oftentimes had to take her to the Dr.

I remember at one time having to sit in the doctor's office and talk to her doctor about her vagina.

Oh girls - let me just tell you - where I was mentally and emotionally at the time - weighing nearly 300lbs - between my sister, my mom and dad - I felt like I lived at doctor's offices.

My life really wasn't my own.

I clearly remember being really 'mad at the world' that this was my lot in life.

I myself visited the doctor often to get reassurance that I wasn't crazy - or bi-polar.

I was on and off of Prozac for several years.

Then I had 'the dream'.

The dream is still as vivid today as it was the night I dreamt it some 20 years ago.

I was in heaven.

My sister approached me - completely normal, and thanked me for helping to take care of her.

Moments later - my father - with complete mental clarity and a peace in his eyes I had never seen before - thanked me for helping him.

It was at that moment when I realized - there would be a time when it was all over.

There would be a time when my mother and father were gone, as they are now.

I still sometimes mourn not having children.
I think it's only natural and normal.

Yesterday, having my hair cut - in the chair next to me a girl was announcing that she was seven weeks pregnant and talking about ultrasounds.

It stings.

I'll never be a grandmother.

I'll never have a 'houseful' of kids around the Christmas tree.

I'll never know what it's like to have a daughter that looks like me - or has some of my personality quirks.

But I have Aaron.

And that's a 'whole notha story' of love, redemption and goodness.

I also realized that I would have made a fabulous mother!

Well, actually I am a fabulous mother.

Ain't no tellin' me that baby ain't mine.

One thing that my Coach teaches me is 'that it's all happening perfectly'.

Today - looking back at my life - I have to agree that it has.

It was complete madness for nearly 15 years.

It was illness, mania, mourning, no time of my own, and feeling that it would never end.

Perhaps that's why now - now that my life is quiet, and my mind is calm - that I'm so very extra grateful for it.

So. very. grateful.

I wish I could have heeded some advice 'back then'.

It's hard to heed advice when you are knee deep in the muck of it all.

I wish someone would have put their arms around me and said -

"Jayme - make time for you. You will still be here when it's all over."

"Breathe".

"It's OK to cry."

"It's OK to be weak."

"Yes, this sucks."

"There will be an end."

I wish so hard.

I wonder if I could have heeded it?

Please know that I'm not dwelling in the past.
Au contrare - I'm embracing the future, big time.
I'm just hoping my journey can help someone else.

Priceless

2012-01-17T10:52:00.000-06:00

$35 in gas.

$10.50 in tolls.

$13.39 in cold remedies.

$16.56 in odd, mystery food lunch.

Walking the store for 4.6 hours feeling like you are caught in a never ending episode of

House Hunters International.

Being caught making the display beds.

(who can walk by a mess like that? Who!?)

Keeping my word to my favorite boy in the world?

Priceless.

Meandering Monday

2012-01-16T10:39:00.000-06:00

It's Monday morning at 10:14am.

I just now feel like I might live.

I need happy garden pictures today, hope you don't mind.

I got up just an hour ago, and just now finished a breakfast of left over roast beast and a ridiculously fabulous tangerine.

The store was completely out of ground turkey breast the other day - what's a girl to do?

It's been a long weekend, and the cold that has been stalking me for two weeks, finally decided to pounce.

At least I think so - I might be right as rain, and this could be allergies -

since I put in my final shift at the Pier last night and copious amounts of dust was raised

as we reset furniture displays.

Cold? Allergies?

Time will tell.

I was moving furniture til near midnight.

I smashed a $100 vase and a $30 glass chicken (of all things!) by accident last night.

I could be wrong, but they might be glad to see me going.

You can't have me - up in a store - way late in the middle of the night - like 10pm - moving heavy things with a dolly.

Accidents will happen.

Last time I worked there, back in the day - I was known as the 'Dolly Mama' - I could maneuver anything anywhere.

It was a longish weekend.

I went to the mall again.

I take back everything I ever said about liking the mall.

I think they need to have a Xanax kiosk.

Watched Larry Crowne with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts.

Two thumbs up.

I fell hopelessly in love with Tom Hanks character.

I usually fall in love with all of Tom Hanks characters.

Remember 'Castaway'?

Help me.

It's Martin Luther King Jr's birthday today and it reminds me of when Aaron and I did our homeschooling gig - and we read a book about MLK, and as we read it - we would follow along on Google images and see the actual speeches and marches that we were reading about.

I remember one day in particular looking at images of these men pouring acid into a swimming pool that had about four young black children in it.

I just started bawling my eyes out.

Aaron just looked at me.

I just blubbered on and on.

I just don't understand prejudice.

It makes me mad as a hornet.

Aaron is off of school today and a week ago, when I was feeling chipper and energetic, I told him I'd take him to Ikea today.

Law.

Now that I feel like I've had a one night stand with a Mack truck, I've brushed my teeth, rubbed a little lipstick on and I'm about to head out the door to get the BoyChild and embark on the torturous journey.

Just in case you didn't know what love looked like - that's it.

Wish me luck.

And Now For Something Completely Different....

2012-01-13T08:41:00.002-06:00

Friday the 13th!

2 hour school delay.

Snow drifts - frigid temps.

Hello winter, where have you been?

The chickens got a warm bowl of oatmeal for breakfast.

Can a chicken scald it's craw?

I think so.

Don't give it to them super hot, y'alls.

Miscellaneous news.

Mammogram clear. : -)

I'm fig free and have another hot yoga class tonight.

The bees were checked when it was the temps were in the 50's a few days ago - and they are alive!

My marketing meeting went well - and I'm just more scared and confused than I've ever been.

Ever.

More to come on that.

my favorite snack as I wait to pick up Aaron from school

I thought this would be a fun way to wrap up this week.

current guilty pleasure: Kalamata Figs - but the love affair has to end. 100 calories in three, and a gassy butt to boot.

current nail color: The kind that makes your nails look all raggedy and ridgy. Oh wait -

current playlist: Mumford and Sons

current read: Wheat Belly by Dr. William Davis, Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Todd Gilbert

current drink: Revolution Green Tea with Acai

current food: swooning over soups recently

current favorite show: Don't hate - I know it's going to seem out of character - but my favorite shows are Sons of Anarchy, Dexter, Breaking Bad, Damages and Modern Family. I just can't pick one!

current wish list: A T shirt that says 'Namaste, bitches' - although I'm not sure I would or could actually wear it - but it flat cracks me up

current needs: to stop eating figs

current triumphs: meeting my friend at 6am to walk at the highschool

current bane of my existence: the words 'yummo' 'sammie' and when people say 'nom nom nom' when talking about food.

current celebrity crush: Charlie Hunnam, aka Jacks Teller from Sons of Anarchy. I'm sorry. I know I could be his mother. I normally go for the geeky musician type - but there's something about this guy...I just can't breathe now...

current indulgence: please see my list of TV shows

current blessing: you guys, for real

current outfit: black turtleneck from thift store - $1.00, Express jeans from thrift store $1.00 - super cute snowflake socks from KMart - $2.00. Silver hoop earrings.

current excitement: working out with my Coach in real life next week. Scared excited. He's been warned of my flatulence issues. I promised him I wouldn't eat figs or broccoli

current mood: content

current link: http://glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com/

Worry

2012-01-12T08:31:00.000-06:00

We are supposed to get nine inches of glorious snow today.

I'm having breakfast with a dear friend and marketing guru.

We are going to talk about bring Spring Chicken Serum to the masses.

After that - I'm coming home to hunker in my chair with Acai Berry tea and answer emails.

I'll watch the snow fall from my western window.

I can think of nothing that will give me greater pleasure!

Hot tea, snow, quilts and cats - and a clean inbox.

Amen.

In case I computer myself out today and don't blog for a few days - I wanted to tell you - the burger remains the same. It's harder - but there are no signs of mold or spoilage.

The scariest part to me is that there is absolutely no odor.

No odor.

Nada.

It doesn't smell like anything.

Today's post is about worry.

I don't do it anymore.

I gave it up in December of 2010.

I made up the acronym:

W hen

O bstacles

R eally

R uffle

Y ou

I was a champion worrier - and in fact, one of my very first blog posts were written about how much I worry.

I felt like being a worrier was being a responsible adult.

I worried about money, the lack of it, the health of my loved ones, what I'd make for supper, what I'd eat for supper, what I'd wear.

Are the chickens cold? What if the bees don't overwinter? What if Aaron grows up to be a bum? What if Glen dies before me? What if I get cancer?

What if I never find the right fabric for those curtains I want?

Who's going to take care of us when we are old?

You get the idea.

I realized that I was spending all of today's energy on tomorrow's fears.

And strangely enough - those fears never really materialized.

What pushed me over the edge worrying was when Aaron - a straight A home school student went to high school and nearly flunked out.

I was on his school web account numerous times a day.

Emailing his teachers.

Sending Aaron messages about missing assignments.

Talking to Aaron everyday -

"I see you are missing three Algebra assignments - make sure you catch up on them".

I was driving myself insane as well as him!

On December 2, 2010 - I was physically sick with worry.

Doubled over - I'm being honest.

I felt completely out of control.

I put my foot down and decided to never worry again.

I realized that if I were truly minding my own danged business - I'd have precious little to actually worry about.

For three months I fought thoughts on a minute by minute basis.

I imagined a bouncer being at the door of my brain - he was a big beefy fellow too - and I'd think something - and he'd have to see if 'it was on the list' of acceptable thoughts.

The dude was working overtime.

Some thoughts tried over and over and over to get in.

They finally gave up.

Once in a while - they come around again - but are quickly 'bounced'.

I have to say I'm pretty carefree.

I haven't looked at Aaron's grades in over a year.

You know what?

I don't care.

This may come as a terrible shock to many of you - and many of you may think I'm completely wrong - but it's what I had to do.

I ask him things like -

"Are you doing your best?"

"Do you need any help with anything?"

"Have you been suspended?"

And if he's NOT doing his best?

How in the sam hill can I do anything about that?

Can I force his hand to his paper?

Can I force him to study?

That's the thing - what can you truly control?

You.

You can control what you eat - when you go to bed - how you spend your time, and you can control your thoughts.

And I'm tellin' ya sister - you start getting your thoughts under control - you are going to cultivate one beautiful life for yourself!

I tell myself what I'm going to think now - I don't let random, negative thoughts fall from the sky and control me.

Thoughts control emotions, and thoughts will eventually become your actions.

The MOMENT I start to lose my peace anymore - it alerts me that I'm thinking something I shouldn't be.

And doesn't life continually dole out situations that make you lose your peace?

Amen.

The last 'test' I had was right after Christmas.

I had bought a rug for the living room - it was on clearance and I adored it.

Thought it was going to be perfect.

I used some Christmas money I had received as a gift.

Opened a store credit card to purchase the rug because I would save even more, with the plan on closing the account the moment I got the bill and paid it.

Just wanted to interject this here -

I had a huge spending problem in years past.

I overate - I overspent.

I hid credit card bills.

What do I have to show for it?

Nothing.
I have no idea where the money went.

Are you surprised?

I bet you are.

Y'all thought I was so perfect.

I'm sorry.

I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it.

I paid all credit cards off - and cut them all to bits.

I have no credit cards.

At all.

None.

Not even 'an emergency' card.

I found it so easy to 'trust' in those credit cards - you know?

Oh, we are short on money this month - no worries - we have credit darling!

Pfft.

I live on a cash only basis now.

Anyhow - the rug wasn't 'right' and I wanted to return it.

It was $150 rug.

When I got to the store to return it - I didn't have the receipt. I had the 'opened a charge account receipt thing' - and I was denied returning the rug.

I could feel my peace leaving.

: -)

I was also denied returning it for a store credit - I was quite perplexed about that one.

I left with the rug - and very little peace.

I sat in the Heep for a few moments - and tried to find a way of thinking that brought my peace back.

I decided to think this 'Well Jayme - you lost the receipt - you have to keep the rug - looks like you are going to have to redecorate a room in order to use the rug."

That was the ONLY way that I had peace.

Isn't that crazy?

I truly adored the rug.

It was a $300 rug that I got for a good price.

I had to keep telling myself that over and over again.

Then I decided to try one more time to return the rug.

The next time I went to the store, there was a different associate that looked up my receipt - returned the full price of the rug back onto my store card, and did the whole thing with a smile.

And ain't it the way that most things go?

It seems that things always work out.

And if they don't - and you really have no control over the situation?

Let it go.

Let.

It.

Go.

You are only hurting yourself.

You have to find your peace girls.

You can find it - you can keep it - you can live a beauty full life.

I guarantee.

Monday Yammerings

2012-01-09T11:24:00.001-06:00

I did my walk this morning and met who I do believe may be my new best friend.

I don't know her name yet - but was she adorable.

She looks about 75 and has had knee replacements.

She kept feeling bad every time I passed her, remarking "I wish I could walk that fast"

- so I walked with her a bit and encouraged her.

I told her she's walking faster than everyone else that's just sitting on the couch.

I just know we'll be best buds one day.

She'll invite me over and teach me a new crochet stitch as we eat sandwiches with the crusts cut off and talk about 'the good ole days'.

Had my yearly mammogram.

YEOUCH!

It hurt much worse since I've lost weight.

She kept taking films - do they take films? - well whatever it was they were doing - they kept doing it to my left boobie. It concerns me because that's the one I had the biopsy on years ago.

As I was getting dressed again - I thought of all my friends - six to be precise - that have been battling breast cancer in the last few years.

I've never been the person to say 'why me?' - but more often I'm the person that says 'why not me?'

Every time I get a clean mammogram - I'm so extremely thankful.

It makes you realize how quickly what you call life could change.

On the way down in the elevator I met the most adorable old man and his mentally handicapped son.

We struck up a conversation and I immediately wondered if the lady I met earlier was married, and if this old guy was married and if not ......

: -)

But mention his wife he did -

He was the kind of man that just made you happy to look at his face.

I know first hand the challenge that it is as you are aging to take care of a handicapped adult.

My mom struggled so - as she was elderly to keep my sister Vivian home.

So I've just been up in here doing laundry, mopping floors and thinking.

My very favorite kind of days.

Ordinary ones.

The ones with routines, chores, peace and order.

Planning a nice spaghetti dinner.

You heard me!

Spaghetti baby!

I haven't had a noodle in nearly a year.

I found Tinkayada brown rice noodles at the grocery this morning.

I'm not wanting to make it a regular part of my nutrition - but once in a while for a splurge.

Picked up such a beautiful head of romaine lettuce today that it was almost pornographic!

I've been thinking about life again - and I know I'm not the only one that thinks this way - perhaps I think it more than the normal person - because I've cultivated a life that gives me a lot of time to think

I always want to know that I'm doing 'the right thing'.

Doing what I've been put here to do.

Making a difference somehow - somewhere.

Until I figure out what it is that THAT is -

I will mop the floor.

I will do the dishes.

I will plan a spaghetti dinner.

I'll text Aaron and tell him I love him.

I'll call Glen during his lunch and chat.

I'll take care of myself.

I'll feed the chickens and pet the cat.

I'll continue to blog here about my flatulence, gaggy healthy recipes and my search for life's meaning.

Such are all the things that make me happy.

Because - as a wise old bird once told me -

"When you feel that you don't know what your purpose is - do the work that's at your hand."

Actually, no bird told me that - I just made it up - but didn't it sound better to say that a wise old bird told me?

I think you might be surprised when you find out -

that could be your very purpose.

So when you go up to roost tonight...

Ask yourself this question.

Am I being the best me I can be?

Sunday Drivel....

2012-01-08T08:38:00.002-06:00

A few things I need to get off my very sore chest.

The yoga class kicked my butt.

My chest and shoulders are so sore - I can barely move.

I go back today at 1pm.

I swear I was in a Downward Dog for over an hour.

It's 7:57am and I just got back from Pier One.

I mistakenly read the schedule.

I thought I was working from 7am to 11:45am.

I sat there for a half an hour in my car alone - waiting for someone to show up.

Gave up - came home - only to see that I'm on the schedule for 7PM to 11:45PM.

The scary thing is that I checked the schedule like FOUR times in the last week.

I've also been leaving lights on in rooms that I leave - which has always been a pet peeve of mine in the past - and even more alarming - I've left for the day leaving the stove top burner going - three times now!

I stayed up late last night watching the Green Mile - which tore my heart up so, that I spent an hour in bed crying over Jinksie - wishing that John Coffey were here the day Jinksie dropped dead - cause he could have 'helped him' the way he helped Mr. Jangles.

And then the thought of Mr. Jangles made me cry.

Oh for a pet mouse that could roll spools around the house!

Oh yes.

I'm ovulating too.

So I've already got a sleep deficit going and now I'll work til midnight and I've promised my friend that we'd walk tomorrow at 6am.

I have a mammogram at 8am.

Law.

I got a call from Pier One yesterday asking me if I wanted to stay on - not just be holiday help.

After this morning - I've decided "no".

It's no fault of theirs that I misread the schedule - it's just working such piddly hours - for such piddly pay is much too disruptive to my life.

I do not want to work more hours - I thought just a day or two a month - something different to do - you know? Come to find out it's quite disruptive - I find out that I have to work on days that I've already planned things - etc.

I've actually had to cancel on the BoyChild because of work.

I don't cotton to that.

Then the guilt sets in - and I think -" Lord Jayme - just get a full time job - you know you should - you are living in a fantasy world"

- but we've been around that block a few times now, haven't we?

I sacrifice so I can stay home.

I'm cool with that.

86% of the time.

So today I'll at least make what I spent in gas today driving back and forth.

Onward.

or...

Downward-

Facing Dog.

I wanted to apologize for a few things.

Did I mention I'm ovulating?

I'm sorry for posting a gag worthy recipe.

I forget that perhaps I'm in a very different place than many of you when it comes to food - I'm in more of a 'this is what my body needs so just eat it' mode - and I realize that many of you aren't.

I certainly wasn't there when I first started - so I'll try to share a few more palatable recipes in the future! I apologize if at any time I've come off as preachy - or that

'you should be doing what I'm doing'.

I'm also sorry that it's been taking me so long to get back to some of you.

When working on my 'Random Acts of Kindness' list last night - (I'm running out of ideas here!) - I saw on one website where it said 'answer your emails promptly' - stating that it made the other person feel valued when you did that.

Oh my - I'm pretty bad about saving emails for 'when I feel like it' - 'when I have time' - and so - here's an I'm sorry - I hope I've never made any of you feel that I don't value you!

Again - I'm smack dab in the middle of my cycle -

:-)

And now - just for a good laugh-

Here's a snippet of what I wrote on the forum at the Leanness Lifestyle about my yoga class experience.

Ok. I have to. I'm bristling to tell you all about my adventures in hot yoga today.

I've done a Downward Facing Dog a time or two. I know what Child's Pose is. I've been known to meditate and I love saying 'Namaste'.

My neighbor gave me a gift certificate to one month's worth of classes at the local 'Yoga Room'. She also gave me a list of classes they hold - Beginners Yoga, Gentle Yoga, Pre-natal Yoga - etc. Then - I see that they are having a Bikram Power Hot Yoga Bootcamp the entire month of January. Score! Go big or go home has always been a motto of mine. Do I sign up for the Beginners? Nah. Let's do a Bootcamp. 3 classes a week - 90 minutes a shot in a hot room. I imagine it a very sultry experience where I'm going to feel limber, sexy, and focused.

I'll preface this with the fact that I zealously overconsumed some dried kalamata figs. Again. They are on the list of 'do not buy'. I can't stay out of them. I didn't know they caused such gastric distress. I've been extremely gassy AGAIN. The kind of gas that's just spontaneous - like you aren't even aware that it's happening, and then it happens and you had no chance to politely excuse yourself, or at the very least turn your hind end in a different direction.

I'll also tell you that I wore a long sleeved fleece pullover. I have no idea why. I guess I thought if hot is good - hotter was better.

I've never done a yoga class.

The room is dark. And. HOT. The instructor shows up and she's well - she's gorgeous. She has the most beautiful female body I've ever seen in person. My first thought was to put some BBQ sauce on her and bite her. I mean - seriously? That's beautiful. Muscles. And just the way she carried herself was so lovely. Then she started talking - and she literally sounded like a character from a SNL skit. It was almost comical - she was so ....relaxed.

For someone that's never done a Yoga class before - I think I did pretty good. I've never been twisted around like that in my life. The soreness is actually settling in as I type this. I almost vomited twice. Many of the positions were quite painful as my rear end was so tightly clenched trying not to pass gas. I may or may not have seen Buddha.

We ended in Corpse pose. I nailed it.

And with that - I bid you adieu for the day -

Please think of me at midnight tonight - driving home in the cold, dark night, sleep deprived, sore and hormonal.

Amen.

The Big Fig Newton

2012-01-07T12:05:00.000-06:00

Two posts in one day!

Ha!

I just had to share this - I find it so funny - and so typical Jayme.

(Sorry to make some of you gag on that last recipe - that just cracked me up - it's really good! No - really it is!)

I've been in the figs again.

I really thought that I could buy them and control myself - but I've proven twice now that I can't.

If they are here.

I will eat them.

Like all of them.

Like the whole package in one day.

I'm that way with nuts and raisins too.

It just is, and I'm just realizing that my compulsive food behavior is not fully worked through yet - and I'm OK with that.

So - I'm extremely gassy again.

In fact, I feel like I look like the Big Fig Newton guy.

I'm having spontaneous sphincter eruptions.

There's absolutely no controlling it.

And...

As soon as I post this, I'm leaving to go to an hour and a half hot yoga class for the first time.

God help us all.

Another Great Breakfast Idea...

2012-01-07T09:27:00.001-06:00

I was surprised and delighted to find out that most of you do not consume fast food on a regular basis!

Hurrah!

This was my go to breakfast before I found out that dairy bloated me like a tick and caused a severe hole in the ozone layer in Northwest Indiana. Now, I just stick with my turkey sausage and fruit. I do try to have this once in a while as a change - but I get so danged gassy!

It's quick - it's inexpensive - it's filling - and it's balanced with carbs and protein.

It's also versatile.

This might sound gross to you at first - mixing oatmeal and cottage cheese together - but trust me on this one.

I'm a real texture kinda girl - and if I don't like the texture of something in my mouth - no matter how much I love the taste - I just won't eat it.

This - I really like.

1/4 cup of old fashioned oatmeal

3/4 cup of water

Cook the oatmeal in the water - and add your choice of fruit. I like apples or blueberries - bananas are good too - but if you choose those - add them after cooking. Use about a 1/2 cup of fruit.

Add a dash of cinnamon, almond or vanilla extract (depends on what fruit you are using).

Add 3/4 cup of lowfat cottage cheese.

I usually put the pot back on the stove at this point and warm the whole thing up again.

Now - the sweetener - I used agave nectar - I really frown upon the artificial sweeteners - perhaps you could use honey - again - I'll leave the sweetener up to you - it's personal preference.

Some nuts would be delicious on there, wouldn't it?

I'd refrain from doing that - even though 'it's a good fat' - it's a fat nonetheless - and with the amount of carbohydrates in this dish - you want to avoid any extra fat.

Let me know what you think!

Start your day out right girls - get protein in your craw first thing in the morning.

This recipe has been approved by Scarlett - she has often been the lucky chicken that gets little bits of it leftover.

The McDonalds Experiment

2012-01-06T05:59:00.000-06:00

The last few days I've had some odd gastrointestinal problems.

I gained four pounds suddenly -

and I'll spare you the rest of the details - but suffice it to say - the symptoms were troublesome enough to get me up on the Web MD and study the contents of my toilet bowl closely.

After diagnosing myself with pancreatic issues and malabsorption, I've come to the conclusion that my symptoms may just be due to an over zealous consumption of Greek Kalamata Figs.

Amen.

But this post is about McDonalds -

I'm a food snob. It's true. I'm also a coffee snob.

With that said - let me tell you how much I enjoyed the Dollar Menu at McDonalds and gas station cappuccinos before embarking on 'The Great Change of 2011'.

I've watched 'Supersize Me'.

I know there are 70 ingredients in the McRib.

I remember finding a chicken hip socket in one of my chicken nuggets.

No lie.

I've read in places that one McDonalds cheeseburger can represent up to 100 cows.

And yet - sometimes I'm able to shut my mind off and eat the danged things.

It's been months and months since I've had a burger there - and honestly - I don't think I COULD shut my mind off and eat one anymore. The meat freaks me out.

I haven't ingested a nugget since the hip socket incident.

Please don't let your babies eat McDonalds.

I heard about this a week or two ago - and I'm so intrigued by it - I have to do it.

A woman supposedly has had a McDonalds hamburger sitting on her counter for one year and it has remained unchanged.

Now sisters, that's something I gotta see to believe.

I've heard it true of Twinkies - but a meat product?

I was hoping that if I did this experiment - that it would keep Glen and the BoyChild off them for good.

So today - I get the burger.

Plain cheeseburger.

Several reasons why I think I may fail this experiment -

1. I don't know that I can stand the smell of it - even fresh now - the burgers turn my stomach.

2. What if the cat jumps up and eats it while I'm gone?

and actually - this reason should have been first -

3. I don't think my OCD will allow a rogue cheeseburger to sit out of place in the kitchen for a year.

In fact, I'm going to be surprised if I make it two days.

A cheeseburger shouldn't be sitting somewhere like that - it's just disgusting and it's not tidy at all.

I might have to make a special spot in the basement for it to sit, so I don't have to look at it.

I'll keep you posted with weekly updates and photos of the burger.

I'd like to challenge you today -

Do you think you could make it ONE week without fast food?

Discuss.

It's Almost Time....

2012-01-04T09:24:00.002-06:00

I'd planned on talking about my dental excursion today - but I've slept in a little since I have to work til midnight again at the Pier tonight!

It seems too late in the day to be up on the computer much - it seems kinda wrong to me - like watching tv during daylight hours.

I have no idea where I got that it was wrong to watch daytime TV unless you have the flu - but it's just how me brain works.

Last week I had a 'Success Interview' with my Coach, David Greenwalt.

I'd love it if you'd give it a listen.

If you are interested in doing the Bootcamp at all - it's getting down to the wire girls!

There's absolutely no obligation for signing up on the Early Bird Notification email list - and if you'd like a remote chance of getting into the Bootcamp - ya need to do that here:

SIGN UP FOR EMAIL HERE!

I couldn't wish this for you any harder.

A year from now - this could be you - having a success interview and feeling like a million bucks!

Being healthy isn't just the absence of illness - nay - it's energy, it's joy, it's vibrancy and exuberance.

http://www.leannesslifestyle.com/podcast/success_story_jayme_goffin.mp3

Give this a listen and let me know what you think.

I was awfully nervous and completely forgot to mention my chickens, bees and blogs when asked what I do...oy!

If you sign up for the Bootcamp Early Notification Email through the link I gave you above - Coach will track it - and I will be able to assist you through the process of the Bootcamp!

Bootcamp begins on February 8th - sign ups begin near the end of January.

Last year it sold out within a day.

If you happened to do the Turkey Challenge this past fall - it is absolutely nothing like that.

If you are on the fence about this - you want to - but you want more information - please send me an email. I'd be happy to talk to you on the phone about it.
The cost of the Bootcamp is $97 a month - February - August.
Girls - you know I'm a Pink Chicken - I'm not sure how to express to you how SCARY it was for me to put that money out - I need to be UBER frugal to stay home - but I put it out there - and honestly - what I was spending in butter every month paid for half of it.
I almost wish I were kidding about that.
It was the best money I ever spent and I'm doing it again this February!
I'd like to lose another 20 in order to get my weight at a really healthy level and get my legs thinned out.

2012.

It's your year.

I feel it in me bones.

Meet Calvin Carmichael Jones

2012-01-03T07:29:00.000-06:00

I was awakened this morning by a full bladder, and a bad dream.

It was 3:18.

After emptying my bladder, I snuggled back in bed and thought about my dream - it was an odd one - I was going to Home Depot for batteries.

I was with Aaron - we were in the Heep.

There was an epic storm brewing, and we were taking our life in our hands just to go out at all - it was like an end of the world ice storm - there were no cashiers at Home Depot to check us out - the store was abandoned, and people were looting.

I looted some Snickers bars.

I can still hear the brown paper crinkling in my hands.

Then someone stole the Heep and Aaron and I were in dire straights -

really dire straights - so I woke myself up.

At 3:18.

I layed there til the alarm went off at 4.

Is layed there right?

Did I lie there?

That always confuses me.

Thank you so much for all of your kind words yesterday.

It meant so much to me - truly it did.

Glenco and I read them all - and teared up thinking about that sweet Jinksie.

It also helped me get through the dental trauma.

I'll share that with you tomorrow.

I'd like to introduce you to CC Jones.

I have no idea why I like giving my cats middle and last names.

I just do.

Calvin was procured at the same time we bought our little vintage camper.

"What's that you say?"

"You have a little kitten who's mother has been killed?"

"It needs a home?"

Say no more.

:-)

Calvin is sitting on my arms now, making it nearly impossitble to type.

Yes - it's almost IMPOSSTIBLE!

You'd think I'd move him?

Not a chance.

While of course he isn't replacing Jinksie - he sure is soothing the ache.

At first he just made me miss Jinks more - and I constantly called him 'Jinks' which was just terrible to me. I've come to the conclusion that I just can't live without something furry in the house.

Glenco was a bit surprised at how quickly I embraced another cat - perhaps he fears that he'll be replaced that quickly!

He's so different.

He's calm.

He's quiet.

He's just what the Dr. ordered.

I was concerned that he wouldn't want to stay in, and would break my heart further by rejecting my obsessive cat love - but alas -

this feline has become quite taken with the life of an indoor cat.

He's the quintessential lap cat.

Where I am - there goes he.

As I type this, he's on his back, massaging my face.

Oh dear.

I'm smitten with this danged kitten!

An Epic Tale of Woe

2012-01-02T08:51:00.001-06:00

I would imagine that most blogs are talking about diets, decluttering, and other fabulous ways to change your life for the better - but I've decided to talk about my dead cat today.

Move along if you need to.

I needed to tell y'all the details before I feel I can move on emotionally.

That and I feel anxiety about leaving for the dentist in an hour - and I need to think about something else.

Meet J. T. Peppers.

Jinksie TarTar Peppers.

His nickname was Drinksie - because we'd never seen a cat that drank so much water. In retrospect, I wonder if that was some indication that there was something wrong with him.

My most favorite cat in the history of all cats.

I rescued him from a hoarder's house in October of 2009.

I remember the day vividly - Glen was off on a fishing trip with some buddies and I was left to my own devices. I'd gone to visit a friend when I saw a 'Free Kittens' sign posted - and just thought I'd go take a look. It had been some time since I'd seen kittens.

I noticed the house in a state of disrepair as I rang the bell.

I was greeted by a teenage girl smoking a cigar.

She happily welcomed me in - where there was about a 1 square foot clear space on the floor for me to stand.

The urine smell was overwhelming.

It must have been 85 degrees in there.

My first thought - 'I'm taking them all - I'll find good homes for them'.

I was informed they only had one left. She found it (which to me was a feat in itself!) and handed it over to me. Without missing a beat - I tucked it in my coat and said 'Thanks - I'll take it'.

Jinksie never moved. He just nestled right in my coat and I drove home with him.

I remember calling Aaron immediately and telling him what I'd done - and he was gleeful. He loved cats - I remember telling him about the state of the house that I got Jinksie in and saying in disbelief 'They had a human baby in that house!'.

We still laugh about that.

The thing was that I had three cats up in the house already. I didn't think Glen was going to cotton to another one.

But this one was temporary.

: -)

My other three cats were inside/out cats.

It was a constant revolving door around here - and I didn't like it much.

After Jinksie arrived, the inside/outside cats became outside cats.

They seemed quite content to be out.

Jinksie was the cat that everyone dreams about.

Loaded with personality, little silly quirks and so affectionate it was obnoxious at times.

He had a 'lair' under my bed. He'd collect things. He'd go in the basement and bring up a paint roller - or a ball of steel wool. He had a blanket he'd carry around the house.

He was beloved.

Still is.

Fast forward to December 23rd.

I was sitting on the couch early in the morning reading emails.

I heard a terrible noise in the hall - and jumped up thinking that Aaron had fallen down the stairs.

(The BoyChild stayed here for most of his winter break).

It wasn't Aaron.

It was Jinksie.

He lay at the bottom of the stairs -

I picked him up - and he was completely limp.

His eyes were completely dilated.

You know that moment where you just aren't believing what you are seeing, and you are just a bit paralyzed?

I started kinda shaking him - and then I started screaming.

"Aaron!!! Jinksie is dead!!"

Aaron bolted out of bed and we were both just crying inconsolably - and wondering 'is he really dead?'

I had crazy thoughts like - 'maybe he's in a coma' and 'he'll wake up in a minute'.

I tried CPR.

I was massaging him, praying for him - begging God to bring him back -

it was horrific.

It was too early in the am to run him to the local vet, and the emergency vet was so far away that it would have been pointless to take him there - and I really did 'know' in my heart - he was gone.

Aaron and I sat in the floor, taking turns holding him - just crying our eyes out for well over an hour.

I had to go to one of my cleaning jobs - so I had to get ready to leave.
I just kept going back to Jinks - picking him up - crying - checking for a heartbeat.

(this is getting long, eh?)

We wrapped him up and put him in the bathtub. I have no idea why. I just didn't know what to do with him. I had the thought 'where would he be if he were alive?' and that would have been on my bed - but when I picked him up - he had urinated and I thought that it wouldn't be a good idea to lay him on the bed.

That night - we (me, Glenco and Aaron) took turns going in and saying our final goodbyes.

Aaron doted on me the entire day - waiting on me hand and foot - petting me every time I started crying.

My best friend and cousin Jim - stayed home so he could talk to me.

My Leanness Lifestyle friends were texting me that "Love is better than Dairy Queen" because they knew I might seek solace in a Peanut Buster Parfait.

I felt incredibly loved that day.

I was an utter wreck until late Christmas Eve.

In fact, I cancelled my big Christmas Eve dinner.

For real.

I'm telling you a truth.

That cat is missed.

There is an ache in my heart that no other feline will fill.

I have brought Calvin back in the house.

We'll talk about him tomorrow.

Hi, my name is Jayme - and I'm a crazy cat lady.

One Grateful Chick

2012-01-01T10:26:00.001-06:00

It's a fresh, shiny new year!

It's like a freshly baked, uncut cake!

It's like freshly fallen snow!

I feel like 'I don't want to mess it up!'

I'm giving myself to noon before I do something stupid, for sure.

I wanted to pop on over here and wish you all a truly Happy New Year.

Leave all the crap from last year behind.

Embrace the New Year.

It's OK to be imperfect.

We all are.

And for goodness sake - make no 'resolutions'.

Change your mind about some things - and make some commitments.

I also wanted to thank you for sticking with me this last year - as I faced my bad habits -

Whined a lot about big changes in my life.

And more times than I'd like to admit - didn't really know who I was anymore.

You are still here, and I'm so grateful.

I'm still here.

I'm grateful for that too.

: -)

I'm really not sure what I would have done without your support, your encouragement and the daily laughs that you all give me.

Here's to 2012!

I proclaim it the year of the chicken!

The Eve of 2012

2011-12-31T16:36:00.000-06:00

Let me just say this.

It's uber gloomy here in Indiana - and if Glenco doesn't snap out of the funk he's in -

I'm getting a light box for the man.

There.

I feel better now.

It's been an odd week - I feel like I'm just in limbo waiting for 2012.

That's me and Aaron - both of us fit in my jacket from last winter!

The BoyChild has spent the last three days held up on my couch sporting a fever of 103.

I do declare he's slept about 20 hours a day.

I like it that he wants to be here when he's sick.

It makes me feel nurture-y and needed.

Of course - after he started complaining about his neck hurting terribly, I called my sister and had her take him to urgent care.

I thought he might have the meningitis.

I'm an alarmist.

True story - my mother had meningitis as a child - and was in a coma - legend has it that the day they gave up on her and decided to bury her, she awoke.

I remember her telling me how they had her clothes laid out for the funeral.

As kids we always made her show us how she couldn't touch her chin to her chest.

I had to work at Pier One until midnight on Thursday night and sisters let me just tell you how that threw a wrench in my life.

I'm not used to staying up way late in the night like that.

I had to redo the wind chime display.

For real.

There's this frog that I keep looking at.

I have no idea why I want this thing - but I do!

I'm only working at 'The Pier' three hours at a time, every other week.

I'm really not sure what the point is - but for now - I'm enjoying it.

Came home to pamper Aaron's feverish head, and tried sleeping in a sitting position on the couch holding his head so he wouldn't be alone if he awoke in the night needing something - but I only lasted until 3am before I needed to be horizontal in my own bed.

We had our first snow this week.

It was indescribably delicious.

I know this is an incredibly lame blog post - but it's been rather a lame week.

See? My life is not all excitement and fluffy chicken butts - it's pretty darned regular.

I'm still mourning the death of Jinksie and nursing a bad tooth.

I go to my favorite dentist Monday - he wanted me on a course of antibiotics before the drilling began.

There will be nitrous, Xanax and blankets on Monday.

I'm taking the camera and plan on taking random photos while under the influence of nitrous.

I've brought in one of my outside cats.

Calvin.

I can't live catless - I can't! I won't!

I'm not sure he's going to 'make it' inside.

He's got a bit of the wanderlust.

He hasn't been crying to get out for the last 24 hours - so there is progress.

I keep calling him Jinksie - and then I feel terrible.

I've been making a mental list of goals for 2012 and they involve things like -

'do a chin up'

'give up eating meat'

'raise and slaughter chickens and turkeys'

'breed and sell exotic chickens'

'plant new gardens'

'downsize'

As you can see - I'm confused.

I'll get it all on paper soon.

I'm REALLY looking forward to 2012.

I'll be in bed way before midnight tonight.

I've never been much of a New Year Eve gal.

I'll end this tortuously dull post with this last question....I'm aching to know what you are doing tonight, and what you are looking forward to the most in 2012?

The end!

It's Your Turn

2011-12-28T06:54:00.000-06:00

Me.

February 2011.

I cringe.
I look away.

I never saw myself like this.

I had always kinda thought of myself as Aunt Bea.

You know - the chubby, happy go lucky lady that took care of her nephew Opie, and brought fried chicken and biscuits to Andy at the station.

Food was love - love was food.

What's not to understand?

Then - something fabulous, wild and crazy happened to me.

I found out there was a better way to live.

It was hard.

It was easy.

It was fun.

It was miserable.

It was exhilarating.

It was exhausting.

It was called 'honoring myself'.

Law.

10 months later.

Me and my nephew Ryan.
I've got some seriously handsome nephews don't I?

I have my fake boobs on in that picture - so it's hard to see how thin I am on the top now.
I'll get you some full body pics soon.
I no longer channel Aunt Bea, I can tell ya that for sure.

For all the changes you see on the outside, there are many more on the inside.
I want to tell you about each and every one.

In the words of Helene -
"Girls, you can do this! Let's get this going!"

I'm not going to say anymore for right now. I'm still a bit out of it from Vicodin. I slept 12 hours last night. I dreamt I was a man named George and I kissed a young Elizabeth Taylor.
I also drove like a bat out of hell in a 1970 Dodge Charger narrowly escaping the apocalypse.

I'm on antibiotics, and I go see my favorite dentist on Monday -
There will be pictures.

For now I leave you with this thought.
It's possible.
Anything is possible.
It takes the first step.
I'm here to hold your hand while you take it.
I'll also hold your hand when you take your second, tenth, fiftieth and thousandth.

I'm here for you baby.

The Party's Over

2011-12-26T23:09:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all of you that went over to my Coach's blog and spread some love.

I SO appreciate it!

So does he.

Everyone needs some love.

Even when you have guns like those.

It's over girls.

I have half my decorations down.

I never got out of my pajamas or put a bra on today.

Got up - started taking stuff down and deep cleaning in it's wake.

It's what I love to do at this time of year.

It was 7pm tonight and I was on my hands and knees washing my bedroom woodwork - as happy as a lark - when I thought -

"I may need professional help - this is my idea of a good time!"

I'm so ding danged excited to get 2012 underway.

I'm still grieving Jinksie.

I think I have an the beginnings of an abscess tooth on my lower right jaw.

The molar is still broken in half on the upper right jaw.

I go to the dentist this week - until then Vicodin is my BPF (best pharmaceutical forever).

Please forgive me if this blog post makes no sense.

I got the Poppy perfume for Christmas.

My sister doesn't read my blog apparently.

There are no Christmas cookies left up in the house.

All problem food for me is gone.

I have much to say about that.

Soon.

I LOVE Christmas - but for some reason, I'm just a bit glad to see it go this year.

Next!

It's Just a Day Away....

2011-12-23T07:23:00.001-06:00

I celebrate on Christmas Eve - so that's why it's just a day away!

Oh what a riot your comments were!

I had so much fun with Helene.

You'll be sure to see her again.

If you've got nothing better to do - you might want to watch a few of the outtakes - just click over on the videos on the right...

Well y'all - it's almost here - and I hope you are in a good place - mentally, emotionally and physically.

I'm rather fragile this morning.

24 hours ago, right now - my beloved, and I do mean beloved Jinksie dropped dead before my very eyes.

Suddenly.

He didn't suffer - although I am now.

I haven't been able to sleep or eat since he passed.

I've completely dehydrated myself through my tear ducts.

Two years old - healthy to the human eye.

Sadness.

But that's not what today's blog is about - goodness - we don't need to talk about a dead cat right before Christmas. I'll give you the details later.

What I wanted to share with today was my Coach's blog post from yesterday.

It's one of the best things I've read in like forever.

It's a GREAT reminder on a day like today - when you might be in a flurry of busyness and you need to pause and really remember the reason for the season.

My Coach David Greenwalt's Blog

And if ya really love me - won't you leave him a comment wishing him a Merry Christmas, and thanking him for helping me be so fabulous?

It would mean the world to me if ya did.

From a very tired, hungry, heartbroken and dehydrated Coop Keeper -

I thank you from the bottom of my bottomless heart.

Helene's Helpful Holiday Hints

2011-12-21T20:24:00.001-06:00

click here for the real recipe:

Cracker Toffee Bark

Just So You Know...

2011-12-20T06:05:00.000-06:00

Seems that I may have confused a few of you yesterday - so I'm just here to clarify -

Aaron is my nephew.

He's never met his biological father.

Neither have I for that matter.

My sister Cindy - Aaron's mother - just got married in October after a whirlwind romance - she married her very first boyfriend from our old neighborhood in Chicago.

They reconnected via Facebook.

Another social media love story.

I was over the moon happy that Aaron's dad bought him a cake.

He's a wonderful man, and made Aaron's birthday extra special in every way.

Tears of joy, baby.

Tears of joy.

I suppose my heart didn't really break - burst would be more accurate.

Five Words That Broke My Heart

2011-12-19T08:54:00.002-06:00

I'm sitting here bleary eyed and snotty nosed.

Oh I just had a good cry.

A good one.
Tears of utter joy.

What made the CoopKeeper cry, you ask?

These five words texted to me from the boy I love the most:

"dad got me a cake"

Today is Aaron's 16th birthday.

Oh that rat.

Growing up without my permission.

I didn't want Aaron to know I was crying like a baby after he texted me that, so I returned his message asking him if he'd mind if I rolled in his cake naked.

To which he replied - no he didn't mind - he wanted to too.

He's on winter break now and will be here for two weeks - probably not everyday - but as many as I can steal him away for.

I insisted he do a guest blog post - he's up for it.

He said he needed to do a very descriptive blog post of the cheesecake he ate at the Cheesecake Factory.

Whatever dude.

I'll follow that one with a very descriptive post on broccoli.

I planned on baking Aaron a Heath Bar Cheesecake today - it's what he wants every year.

The boy loves cheesecake.

But this year - Dad took care of it.

Dad.

Aaron's got a dad.

I'm crying once again.

Giving it All Away

2011-12-17T17:50:00.000-06:00

Simply having a wonderful Christmastime.

Enjoying the ambiance in the house.

I'm happy to say that I've slapped up the decor and haven't spend a dime - nor have I lost any sleep wondering how to decorate.

Same stuff goes in the same place every year.

It works for me, baby.

I'm sipping my new addiction.

Twinings Winter Spice tea.

There's no wrapping, there's no baking (I'll do a wee next week), there's no flurry, there's no hurry.

There's no stress, there's no mess.

Bada ba ba ba ....I'm lovin' it.

We just got some new light bulbs for our kitchen island.

Very hard to photograph.

They are the Edison Vintage bulbs by Feit.

They hang a wee bit too long out of the fixture me thinks, but maybe it's just that the other ones were up higher.

Speaking of photographing - I'm laughing at most of these pics.

Law girls - I went to college for photography.

You'd never know it.

I know a good pic when I see one, I just don't take them anymore.

I aim and shoot haphazardly and hope that I don't have a reflection of Glenco picking his nose or scratching himself.

It's reduced to that.

For real.

my raggedy Charlie Brown Tree

I'm loving this new Christmas.

I'm loving waking up every morning and my first thought is

'how can I recklessly give of myself today?'

I love thinking of kind things to do.

But it's got my heart all broken up.

There's so much need.

I bawled when I watched the news and found out people have been going to Kmarts and Walmarts and paying people's layaway accounts in full.

How cool is that?

I cry when I think of kids waking up on Christmas with nothing, not only that - perhaps a horrible family situation to boot.

In the past - I feel that Christmas was a 'look at me fest'

Look at my house!

Look at my cookies!

Look what great gifts I made!

There's nothing wrong with that - unless that's all it is.

My heart is stirring with more.

I want to start a Kindness Revolution.

Last night in bed, I bolted up and turned to Glen and said -

"Let's give it all away!"

There's something about having an empty bank account

and a full heart that really makes me feel rich.

Belly Rings, Pizza, Cookies, Eye Doctors and Dentists. Oh Ya - It's Drivel.

2011-12-16T08:35:00.000-06:00

If there was ever a picture that depicted how I've felt lately it's this one.

Poor old Scarlett is molting at a most inconvenient time.

Being the most vain bird that I own, I know this has been taking an emotional toll on her.

Yesterday came and went.

My brother in law and nephew arrived bearing a large pizza.

I think there's a rumor on the street that there's no tasty vittles up in this house anymore.

I noticed an odd mark on the tree in the front.

Have I been tagged!?

I haven't had pizza in 9 months.

It's smelled like heaven in a box.

They all ate pizza.

I had some of my Barefoot Contessa Chicken Chili.

It's compliant with my lifestyle, and it's Dee Dad Gum Delicious.

You really must know that it's not about my figure at all anymore.

Sure - it's nice to feel thin, it's nice to look better in clothes and know that I've decreased my risk of heart disease dramatically.

For me - it's all about how I feel.

How I function.

I want to live with energy and focus.

Eating clean gives me that.

Eating clean gives me sanity.

I'll talk more about it after Christmas, k?

Here is the picture of the belly ring.

I hope for some of you - that you've already digested your breakfast.

As you can see, the entry wound is still tender.

This darned bee belly ring is the reason I re-pierced my belly.

It's the ultimate bee sting!

I was told not to change the ring for six weeks.

Six weeks!

They had put a very non descript ring in me belly - and I was bored with it.

I had to get the pliers out to take it off.

That just made my butt pucker right up to even do that - but do it I did - and I changed the ring.

About four hours later, I was rather sorry I did.

It was too soon to change belly rings.

Who knew?

: -)

I have the little plain one back in now.

I've never been good at following directions.

And now for something completely different.

It's just too funny not to share.

My last follow up appointment with my eye doctor for contacts.

My eye doctor is such a gentle soul.

He said the contacts are looking good - just to give it about a month to fully adjust.

"Do you have any questions or concerns?" he asked.

"Well, yes.", replied the CoopKeeper.

"Do I look old? Do I look high? Do I appear surprised?"

"Does it seem that I have too much face showing?"

Oh my - I wish you could have seen his face!

He answered me kindly, and gave me rather scientific reasons why I thought my face looked horsish

And last, but certainly not least.

I made cookies yesterday.

Gluten free peanut butter cookies.

Natural peanut butter, sugar and eggs.

That's all that was in them.

I made two dozen.

I ate 18.

Told ya.

Bad idea.

This morning, I feel like I've a bit of a hangover.

I feel bloated and disappointed in myself.

It's OK though.

I'm failing forward fast.

It's a journey of excellence, not perfection.

Sadly, I broke a molar on an over baked cookie.

Which led to me dreaming about my dentist.

He was very tan and told me that he had just returned from Varruba.

I don't think that's a country.

He didn't recognize me because of my weight loss - and told me he wished he had a daughter just like me.

So basically - the cookies cost me a day of not feeling good and about $500 in dental work.

Law.

Ponder This

2011-12-15T10:22:00.002-06:00

my little stick tree

I'm just going to come right out and say it.

I know y'all are thinking it.

I do declare this the most depressing blog ever as it applies to Christmas.

Barefoot Contessa's Chicken Chili

Have I posted one delicious Christmas recipe?

No.

from Pinterest - I actually did this with holiday soap from Target!

Have I shared one fabulous decorating idea?

No.

Have I shared any great gift ideas?

Nada.

In fact - stopping by here, you might think I'm anti-Christmas - but you'd be so wrong -

cause my heart is just bursting at the seams with the Spirit of it all.

No baking.

No shopping.

Minimal decorating, and last minute at that.

The final pumpkin was found and discarded just today.

My 50 Random Acts of Kindness are in full swing, and it's the best gift I've ever given myself.

I'm absolutely stress-less.

I ofttimes feel that I live in a fantasy world - a bubble almost - of goodness and light, and happiness and sunshine - where everyday is Christmas, and everyone I meet has the same naive spirit as I do.

So far - living like this has worked for me.

I've got no plans of changing.

The last year has been a journey indeed.
A journey of weight loss, a journey of personal growth, a journey of learning to let peace lead, to let go of control, to end worry, and a journey to live simply.
I haven't been perfect, but I've done stinkin' good.

This morning I awoke pondering this -
Would I indeed be able to celebrate the birth of our Saviour without confection?
Without eggnog.
Fudge.
Cookies.
Punch.
Cakes.
Spiced nuts.

Would I?

You must know that I've food issues.
For me - one cookie would turn into one hundred.
Surely you wouldn't tell your recovering alcoholic Uncle Fred to have just 'one drink' for Christmas?
Surely, you wouldn't encourage your crack addicted cousin Susie to just 'do a little' cause it's the Holidays.

Would you?

While doing the morning dishes, I began pondering again. Sometimes I think I ponder too much, and it's something I'm working on - but some pondering is quite necessary when going through a major transformation. I'm trying to learn to boil things down. To get to the root of things as quickly as I can - and move on. Sometimes I do pretty well - other times, I get stuck - and thoughts are like a broken record in my head.

I'm pondering the no bake Christmas again this year. I know. It probably seems so silly to some of you - but for me - it was my identity I suppose. I don't think I truly realized how much time and energy I put into Christmas baking. Recipes were searched out months in advance, ingredients were bought weeks ahead - I practically worked full time for two weeks baking. I was good at it. People liked it - it validated me in some way - and also fed my addiction as of course I had to taste everything, and not only taste - I'm sure I ate half of it all - and that's why I had to make SO much!

What has me pondering this again is two things:

Today my brother-in-law and nephew are coming for a visit. I know what they expect. They expect a visit to Mrs. Claus' house. They expect cookies, confection, cocoa and joy. I can give them the joy - but they will get a fruit plate and some unsweetened tea. I have a scared feeling in my stomach because of it.

The second reason is my beloved nephew Aaron, The BoyChild - who is my heartbeat, my joy and like my very own son. I feel the responsibility of giving him everything that "I" feel that Christmas is - and it involves food.

I'm trying to boil this down. Why would I feel scared over this? Why would I feel the burden of 'making some one's Christmas'? I'm reckoning that it's boiling down to needing to be liked, needing to be loved, needing to feel good at something. If the very thing I THOUGHT people liked me for - I no longer do - my mind tells me that they will no longer like me. Is that really that big of a deal? Obviously, to me it is. If someone no longer likes me because I don't bake cookies - well, it's a pretty good indication that they never liked ME in the first place....

I started my period today - just interjecting that right here right now....LOL

The small part of my brain that is logical - tells me that all of this is poppycock. Come by for a visit, have some great orange slices and move on. It's not my 'job' to make you happy, it's not my 'job' to make you cookies. Like the new me or move on.

The large part of my brain that is emotional cries out 'love me' and wants to get the sugar and flour out.

Lord have mercy.
And you thought the whole process of weight loss was eat less, move more, didn't you?

The Leanness Lifestyle

2011-12-13T14:07:00.000-06:00

Coach Robin, The CoopKeeper, Coach Tom, Coach Angie, Coach David

This weekend I had the immense pleasure and honor of spending time with

my Leanness Lifestyle mentors in the great town of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
I'm still getting used to my contacts - and I had on five inch heels.
So basically - I looked like a surprised, somewhat high, new born baby giraffe.
It's a sure way to impress people you don't see often.

These people are the real deal folks.

Losing weight this last year has been the lemon in my water - it's really been more of an internal transformation.

There's a saying that floats around the club

"Shrinking on the outside - growing on the inside"

So true.

Robin's lost 40 lbs and has kept it off for over 9 years.

Angie's lost 40 lbs and kept it off for over 6 years.

Coach Tom and David have both made amazing tranformations.

Last thing ya want to read about right before Christmas, isn't it?
I wouldn't blame you for one second if you clicked right off of here, and went to a blog where there were giving out recipes for Eggnog Cupcakes.

But just keep this stuck in your craw for January, when you are looking for that miracle diet yet again, or maybe - when you are at the end of your rope, resigning that you'll live the rest of your life overweight and unhappy.

Y'all come back here and I'll hook you right up.

For those of you that have emailed me in the last few days - give me a few days to get caught up - I'll for sure write you back.
: -)

Fifty Fifty

2011-12-08T11:47:00.000-06:00

I just cleaned my belly piercing - and Aaron (The BoyChild is my nephew - just clarifying)

cleaned his nose piercing, and it made me think of y'all.

Pictures tomorrow - Lord willing and the creek don't rise.

We are in the throes of decorating the house for Christmas, and squealing with each thing we unwrap.

"Remember this!?"

"Oh I love this one!"

Now, if'n we'd just get some snow.

Too much fun.

Soon we'll depart and get our customary Starbucks Peppermint Mocha and each find an ornament that we'll squeal over next year.

Two things, nay - three things I wanted to say today.

Wait - I think there's four.

Umpire.

Did you know that word has haunted me for 24 hours.

It's the right word, isn't it?

It doesn't sound right.

I looked it up - and the definition is right.

It's still seeming wrong.

That's what you call the guy behind the batter that calls the balls, right?

Right.

The second thing I wanted to show you was the table that Glen just finished making for me out of 'reclaimed lumber'.

Actually - lumber I saw sticking out a dumpster last summer.

This beauty is 8' long and is going to make a lot of memorable meals.
Well, actually I will be making the meals - the table will just make them memorable.

After Christmas, I'll work on the porch again.

The chairs have to be painted, etc. etc.

And anotha thang I wanted to share with mainly my new readers, is my
Christmas Cookie tutorial.

I'm a great baker.

It's just a fact.

I'm sure you'll pick up some great tips!

And the final thang -

I'll be 50 in 50 days.

Today starts my birthday Random Acts of Kindness kickoff.

(another reason I wanted Aaron home today!)

For the next 50 days - I'll (or we'll) do a Random Act of Kindness each day.

Today - we are getting hot cocoa for all of the Salvation Army bell ringers in town.

Too much fun!

Until tomorrow - I bid you -

A squeal worthy day.

Daily Drivel Digest #326

2011-12-07T09:50:00.003-06:00

I survived my day out among the English.

Survived, and maybe even thrived a little.

All I have to say, is that Vickie - you were right when you left the comment about it being good I was among candles, potpourri and room spray.

My cauliflower/cannelini bean conconction was in full swing, and at times I was doubled over with cramps.

Luckily, for me - and all of the customers, I wasn't behind the counter - but I was walking the floor - so I could leave the scene of the crime easily - and swiftly - and I did.

I have a real live name tag on my work apron - even though I've not a clue what I'm doing.

I can fake it til I make it though - since I was a manager there a few years ago.

It's MUCH more fun walking around playing with dinner plates, and fluffing pillows than it is hammering out a schedule, making bank runs and actually being responsible for things!

I was lightly begged to work more than two days a month.
I declined.

Saying yes to that, means saying no to other things that I'm not willing to say no to right now.

Like being home.

The day was perfectly orchestrated time wise, and you woulda thunk I actually planned it - I swear I did get every green light and arrow, even at the fabric store, it seemed like they were just waiting for me to arrive.

What's with the fleece?

E.v.e.r.y.one there was buying scads of it.

I'm thinking it's for those no sew blankets.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

I diss the fleece.

I do diss it.

Why, you ask?

It gives me the chills, similiar to cotton balls, and it makes me feel like I need to go to the eye doctor to look at it - it's all blurred.
I'm dizzy and covered in chills now, just thinking of it.

what I think I look like with contacts - I'm sorry Courtney

My eye doctor appointment went well.

It was like riding a bike - popping those hard little blue lenses in me eyes.

Two minutes later, I looked like my dog died, or something else horrible happened.

I told the eye doctor that he should hand out buttons that say 'I'm not stoned - I just got contacts!'

Two hours in me eyes yesterday, four today.

Glenco tells me last night - after over 10 years of me wearing glasses that he likes me better without glasses.

I feel like I have too much face showing now - and I feel vulnerable.

It's hard to explain.

Today is Wednesday, thus the BoyChild shall be picked up at school.

I'll let you in on another secret.

We are celebrating his birthday today, although it's not actually his birthday just yet.

SIXTEEN.

Oy.

We are celebrating by going to a tattoo parlor and having extremely sharp hollow needles rammed through various parts of our body.

Is there a better way to bond with someone you love?

My belly, his nose.
Pierced.
No tattoos!
(added this after a few thought I was getting inked. : -)

You are shocked aren't you?

You should be.

And I'll let you in on yet ANOTHER secret.

He's not going to school tomorrow so he can help me decorate the house for Christmas and we can do our ornament shopping tradition.

Memories are more important than World History and Health class.

Don't hate.

And now, for something completely different.

This morning at about 4:15am, I woke up because the cat bounded off the bed, and my ears were ringing loudly.

And somehow, I have no idea why - it reminded me of a comment I got here a while back asking me if my house was haunted, and how would you know - if you were wanting to buy an old house if it were haunted or not.

I'm sorry I haven't answered that sooner - and I'm sorry for all the questions that go unanswered here, and I'm sorry for the way things are in China - oh wait, that's a John Denver song.

I like to think that I have a good 'knower'. I feel a lot of things, I sense things. I have 'forebodings' as I like to call them, and sometimes I just know things. Everyone that I have known that has been diagnosed with cancer - I've known from the minute I find out - whether or not they will survive it.
I've been right every single time.

Coincidence?

Maybe.

So I would say I'm sensitive to things - but - and again - don't hate - I'm not sure I believe in ghosts.

It could explain the missing pillow if I did.

I believe in spirits - but not ghosts.

Does that make sense?

All of that to say - my house is haunted.

It's haunted with happiness, and beautiful memories of days gone by.

It's haunted with children's laughter, tears over hard decisions, lives lost, lives begun.

After 143 years - I do believe this house has seen it all.

But I've never felt anything but sheer peace and joy in this house.

People do remark on it when they enter.

I'm glad they don't remark that it smells like a moldy basement or a cat box.

I think - if you are hankering for an old house - and you want to start shopping for an old house - you will just 'know' if that house is for you.

It will feel right from the moment you walk in.

If it doesn't?

Leave.

Colossians 3:15 says that peace should be our umpire.

“Let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as an umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds]…” (Colossians 3:15 AMP).
(thanks Terry - I needed to clarify that!)

Oh my - imagine if we all lived that way - only doing things that brought us peace.

We wouldn't be nearly as busy as we are, now would we?

Think about that.

This, That and the Other Thang

2011-12-06T09:49:00.000-06:00

Again, I find myself hacked by a hormonal woman talking about no Christmas presents!

Good Lord.

: -)

So let it be written, so let it be done.

I'm about ready to fly out the door here, but wanted to stop in real quick like and let you know I just slapped 12 more bottles of serum up on Etsy.

I'm clean out of the chicken charms, so I lowered the price on them even a bit more.

The charms are on their way from Taiwan I do believe, it takes a while.

I'm heading out to the fabric store to get some apron fabric. I hope to have more aprons by the middle of next week. I will only promise this if in fact I have my Merry Christmas tree up and lit by then.

19 days til Christmas and there's nary a holiday bauble in my house.

But - there are no pumpkins.

Amen.

I have to work at 'The Pier' (Pier One) today from noon to three.

I have to remember to take my allergy meds before I go!

I'm giggling at a three hour shift - but at least it motivates me to put on makeup today.

I haven't worked there in two weeks, I hope I remember how to run the register.

Woe unto the impatient woman that get me today!

I'm still hankering hard over a pencil skirt.

I pick up my contact lenses this afternoon too.

I haven't worn them for 14 years and I imagine there's going to be a LOT of blinking going on - since I ordered the rigid gas permeable.

Makes my eyes water to think about it!

I'll be 50 in 52 days.

I've got a doozy of a way I'm ringing in the big five oh.

I'll tell ya all about it -

tomorrah.

And the last nugget of wisdom I impart to you today -

If you ever decide to 'make up' a healthy Italian Turkey Minestrone soup recipe, and think that it's a good idea to put cannellini beans in it, along with an entire head of chopped cauliflower -

Think again.

Really.

Think really hard.

My Christmas Wish List

2011-12-05T10:22:00.000-06:00

Last night I dreamt that I was working in a big flour factory, that also baked breads and cakes.

I was on an assembly line where I was frosting chocolate cakes.

I was quite adept at it - but ended up eating a lot of the frosting.

Then the line went down and we were all sitting around looking for things to do.

So I ate more - cake and frosting.

Then I met the owner of the business and he was quite taken with me and gave me a bag of birdseed.

What does this mean?

The fall decorations are out of the house.

Next - I go outside and take the pilgrims down.

: -)

I wanted to share my Christmas list with you - things I've been hankering for.

Been hankering for this since my 'mall day'.

See - that's the trouble with going to the mall!

You want things you never even knew existed before you went.

Like Coach perfume and Elmo underwear.

Selah.

One spray and I knew I found my new fragrance.

Not that I'm a big fragrance girl.

My bottle of Clinque 'Happy' has lasted me three years.

I usually smell like dirt, grass, onions and Pinesol.

I'm ok with that.

This beauty.

KitchenAid's new 13 cup food processor.

I swoon when I think about it.

I eat a lot of veggies.

A. LOT.

Imagine the ease in which I could slice my cucumbers and julienne my carrots.

It's enough to make a grown woman cry.

My floor would no longer be covered in cauliflower when I chop.

*sniffle*

I'd love a $5000 gift certificate to this place.

I'm not a Kindle/Nook kinda girl.

I like turning real pages, I like smelling books, highlighting them and using them to decorate.

I understand the Nook has it's value - don't get me wrong.

I'd LOVE a shopping spree at Barnes and Noble.

*a single tear*

Anything, and I do mean anything from this place:

Even though I've been pinning cute outfits on Pinterest, talking about pencil skirts, and wanting Coach perfume - I'm a Life is Good hoodie kinda girl at heart -

that really doesn't mind smelling like onions.

Something happened yesterday as I looked out my backwindow and saw my orange lights glowing, and my pumpkins sinking, and my pilgrims illuminated - something that I'm

not quite sure of -

I want nothing for Christmas now.

And I'm not really planning on giving any gifts to my friends this year.

I went over to the side of the fridge where my Christmas Gift Giving list is and I took it off the fridge, looked at it, and threw it in the garbage can.

If you are my friend reading this - please don't get me anything - please give that waitress a big tip, buy someone's groceries, shovel someone's walkway -

That's a gift I would love for you to give me.

I've got a big heart - I know that - and giving makes me giddy.

GIDDY.

I love giving gifts and I shan't lie - I like opening a gift or two on Christmas Eve around the tree.

And there's not a thing wrong with that.

But somewhere between lunch and dinner yesterday - somewhere between my heart and my mind -

it all seemed so silly.

It all seemed so 'this is what we do every year' - and I'm opting out.

You can't imagine the freedom I feel.

I'm decking my halls today - and the Christmas music will play - there will be some gluten free cookies floating about in the days to come -

My present this year is going to 'be present'.

Present.

Here.

Now.

Giving 100% of my attention to whomever it is I'm with - be it the BoyChild, Glenco - my other family members, friends.

Giving my time, giving a great attitude, giving my sympathy, giving my encouragement, giving, giving, giving.

And promising myself that I'll continue to be that way - long after the needles are vacuumed out of the carpet, long after the boxes of ornaments are tucked safely away in the attic for another year.

Be present.

I think that's an awesome present.

And much harder to give than a pair of socks.

Amen.

Scenes from a Mall

2011-12-04T10:33:00.011-06:00

I sit here typing to you in my pj's - up on a Sunday morning, with a cup of breakfast tea cooling in me largest Starbucks mug.

I've no intention of dressing today - or doing anything - so this could be a very long blog post.

The pilgrims are STILL on the porch - lit - fyi.

Glenco and I have decided to take our Sunday's off completely.

Go get a drink - I'll wait.

Are you back?

I've been pinning.

Don't get me started.

Law.

I'm hooked - and if I actually do all of the ideas I've pinned - I will in fact deserve a reward.

In fact - I do believe I'm going to make a board that says "I DID this!"

Glenco's still in bed.

It's 9:36 in the ay em.

It's raining - and it's gloomy.

Which I suppose it's normal to be gloomy when it's raining -

You know my last post about being dark and twisty?

Well today I'm bright and straight.

I know what you are thinking - 'this gal needs meds'.

Nah, I just need to stop thinking so much.

But this post is about the mall -

Now this is a scene that you would NEVER see ever -

me, with girlfriends - smiling in the mall

This is more what you would see if you brought me in a mall

Terror - anxiety - and an all around 'let's get the heck out of here' mood.

Just the mention of 'the mall' aged me by 30 years!

Yesterday.

YESTERDAY - a December Saturday - I went to the mall with the AlmostManChild.

I really should stop calling him the BoyChild - but it's hard.

I'm still in awe of how much I enjoyed the mall.

So much to look at!

So much to smell!

It was fantastic!

I was calm - not a care in the world.

I'm just so different now.
Not a smidge of anxiety since I'm wheat-free.

(more on that later - a lot more)

Oh the fun we had!

Aaron is some good company - I just have to tell you that.

There's never a moment of silence between us - there's laughing til we cry - and I can ask the AlmostManChild anything and he tells me the truth.

Case in point -

I'm going to a lovely symphony concert in Wisconsin next weekend and I want to dress up.

I thought of an outfit like this:

But my calves are still really chunky - and I'm self conscious.

Aaron told me it would be best if I didn't sport the pencil skirt.

His exact words "I'm not telling you this to hurt your feelings - but your legs still need some work - wear your black slacks"

I had asked Glenco the same question and he said "You need to dress for the weather - what if there's snow? Don't wear a skirt and heels".

:-/

Something has changed in Aaron in the last couple of weeks.

I can't put my finger on it - but it's like he's blossomed.

It might have something to do with this:

I ADORE my new brother-in-law.

Ah. Door.

Aaron's cutting all of his blue hair off (oh, you didn't know it was blue?) and going back to his natural hair color.

He's always been vibrant and full of life - but now - it's like he's glowing.
He didn't meet a stranger in the mall - having conversations with the sales associates like they were his best friends.

Anything I needed - he was on it -

"we need these in a 9 1/2"

"excuse me - where are the gloves at ?"

"Marmie - you don't need those Elmo underwear"

Did you KNOW they had Elmo underwear?

I surely didn't.

I'm convinced the boy is going to take terrific care of me in my silver years.

In fact, I declare that he'll be going all Shirley MacClaine from "Terms of Endearment" if I ever end up in a hospital.

It makes me smile to think about it.

It makes me so happy to know that I'm healthy, and living a lifestyle that will insure that I get to spend as much time with him as possible.

He's growing up right before my eyes.

I have the best, deep down feeling inside my belly about his life.

He may be flunking algebra - but in the grand scheme of things -

he's on the Honor Roll of life.

I absolutely couldn't be prouder of him.

Think About It Thursday

2011-12-01T09:55:00.000-06:00

I really must say I felt like $675,000 yesterday with my vintage coat and messy updo.

I loved hearing the sound of my heels clicking around the house while I was getting ready to go.

The play was -

let's say -

'interesting'

I felt dozy during the first half - and then the second half grabbed me by the throat and choked me up some.

I may or may not believe in Santa Claus all over again.

I'm leaning toward believing.

I do believe I was the only one in attendance with fertile eggs in me ovaries.

I didn't realize what a Senior past time afternoon musicals were.

So today finds me all dark and twisty inside.

Christmas is in 24 days and the pilgrims are still lit on my porch.

Mummified pumpkins are sitting about.

I've got no gumption to change it.

I'm planning on making all my gifts - so it will be a Christmas miracle in and of itself if anyone receives anything.

I have over 50 boxes to get to the post office this week - and I can't thank you enough for your generosity and kindness towards me!

I, me, mine.

I feel self-centered.

I'm just in a thinkin' kinda mood.

iggiandgabi.com

I'm thinkin' how perfectly imperfect we all are -

and I'm trying to embrace my weaknesses and give myself a pat on the back for my strengths.

I'm tryin' to learn to love the new thinner Jayme that seems boring to me at times.

I'm trying to forgive the still food addicted Jayme that hides in the pantry and eats a half a bag of marshmallows as fast as she can in secret at times.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that the skin on my face seems so much looser now and how my eyelids move around so much it's hard to put on eyeshadow.

I'm aging.

It's happening right before my loose eyelids - and there's not a thing I can do about it.

I'm trying to stop time and spend mine wisely from here on out.

I'm a regular time miser lately.

I'm trying to tell my mind what it's allowed to think - instead of letting it tell me how to feel.

I'm trying not to try so hard.

my.opera.com

Law.

I haven't vacuumed in four days.

I'm glad you were sitting down for that one.

Let the record show that losing over 100lbs will rock your world in ways you weren't prepared for it to.

But guess what?

My world needed a little rocking.

Maybe yours does too.

Never give up.

Never give in.

Never stop believing.

shindigz.com

Would a disco ball be as sparkly if it were one solid sheet of mirror?
I think not.

Bust up that mirror - glue it back together -

and now you got yourself a party.

Party on imperfect peeps.

Party on.

Betty Draper Called....

2011-11-30T10:07:00.000-06:00

...she wants her coat back.

Talk about being in the right place at the right time -

I picked up this beauty at the resale for 8 dollas!

Today I'm going to a Christmas play right up and in the middle of the afternoon.

And I'm dressing up Draper-style.

Funny thing - how you think you look until you take a picture, isn't it?

I really thought my hair looked good - so I took a pic to show you - and come to find out that it's a rat's nest!

Kinda like this -

Holiday Nipples....

2011-11-29T15:33:00.000-06:00

Hey gals!

THANK YOU!

I am just blown away by your support of my Etsy shop yesterday.

I hope to make some more aprons soon - but right now I'm knee deep in packaging papers

skin oil.

Here's a post I did a few years ago - wanted to bring it back up to the top so that you can get busy making some Santa Nipples - or Reindeer Nipples - or Elf Nipples....

or you could just call them Nipple Rings.

The possibilities are endless!

Just wanted to show you a super quick, super tasty little treat to make for the holidays.

I call these Nipples.

I think it's funny. Glenco just rolls his eyes.

These would be Turkey Nipples.

I also make Reindeer Nipples, Leprechaun Nipples, Cupid's Nipples....

I think you get the idea.

I was going to name this post 'Everyone Loves My Nipples'

Aren'tcha glad I didn't?

All you need are some round pretzels, Hershey kisses and M&M's.

The M&M's should reflect whatever holiday it is that you are celebrating.

Of course, the day before Thanksgiving, it's impossible to find any fall colored M&M's, so I had to buy a regular bag and sort them out myself.

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees. Using a Silpat or parchement paper, line a cookie sheet (I like using a jelly roll so they don't fall off going in and out of the oven, trust me on that one)

"Kiss your pretzels"

Put them in the oven for about two to three minutes, until thoroughly softened and shiny, but not melted and running.

Now all you have to do is 'nipple' them!

Chill them until they firm up. These make great snacks. They pack well and can be put in tins or jars and given as gifts. Kids especially like these.

Hoping you all have a wonderful, and Happy Thanksgiving!

PS House post still planned for sometime later tonight!

Apron Up!

2011-11-28T08:23:00.003-06:00

Well girls - it's Monday.

I like me some Monday.

For me - it's the day of the week to get after it again - restore order - plan and scheme - cook - clean - and kick some butt in general.

I don't know about you - but I don't feel properly prepared for a Monday unless I'm aproned up.

I did it girls.

I actually sewed up 9 aprons and put them on Etsy.

Why do I feel all nervous?

: -)

Hands to the Spindle, Hearts to God over here.

I'm staying home if'n it's the last thing I do.

Can't thank you enough for your support! Thanks SO much for your serum and honey orders.

Ya done blessed me real good.

If you want to order an apron, and you've already ordered honey, or serum - please go ahead and know that I'll be adjusting the shipping costs before I do ship your order and giving you a refund.

Capeesh?

This will be the last day that the serum and honey are at the sale price!

Don't miss it!
It will also be the last day I'm pimping out my blog!
: -)

Many thanks to my wonderful friend Renee for letting me borrow her dummy. I've had fun posing this dummy by the ironing board, and having her do assorted chores. I've gotten quite attached to her actually! I keep trying to talk Glenco into getting some actual sister wives.

Imagine how much could get done with a few more women in the house!

(As of 2pm CST - all the aprons have sold! Oh my! I can't believe it! Thank you all so very, very much)

Skin Serum Sale!

2011-11-27T11:57:00.001-06:00

Fixed the shipping charges on Etsy!

Thanks for bringing that to my attention....

I'm awfully confused on the shipping, and how to set it right - because for a Medium Priority box at $10.95 you can get two jars of honey, a skin serum and probably an apron all shipped for $10.95!

If you place an order, and the shipping is all cattywompus - I will fix it, refunding you a difference via Paypal - before I ship it ok?

Cattywompus is a woefully underused word.

So is cockamamie, gallavanting - and actually - woeful.

I've deleted the coupon code and just lowered the price by 20% for the next few days just to add to the confusion here.

There's plenty of honey left at the moment - so go get it before it's gone.

Hard to believe it'll be next summer before I pull anymore frames.

The skin serum is on sale now!

$12.95 a bottle!

Stock up!

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to sell it at this price again.

(that's not a real chicken - fyi - no chicken was harmed in the making of the serum)

I'm getting so many fabulous testimonials about the skin serum.

I have one customer who's Doctor kept remarking about her skin, saying what a difference he's noticed - so much that he ordered a bottle for himself!

I do believe with the amount of weight I've lost recently, that my face would be rather saggy without it.

I couldn't go a day without it - I couldn't. I wouldn't. I won't.

If you are already a serum user, I'd love to hear your comments!

Hurry up and order yours today - cause chances are I will actually remember to change the price back to the original $19.95 some day.

Just click on my Etsy store right over there --------->

It's Almost Cyber Monday.....

2011-11-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

Hey guys!

I sincerely hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

My turkey was woefully dry.

I kinda forgot about it.

I know - I was busy doing other things and miscalculated the time it needed.

I'm afraid I did not impress my new brother-in-law in any way, shape or form!

I'm up here in the Coop gearing up for "Cyber Monday".

Sewing my fingers to the bone.

I've got 24 pint sized jars of honey up on Etsy now - and I wanted to give you first dibs, and a coupon code!

'mondaymonday'

will get you 20% off your order!

And in case you've forgotten - here's where my bees have been eating all summer:

On this cold almost December night - I have to tell you - these photos are a balm to me soul.

Shipping stuff makes me nuts - it's so danged expensive - but how else can I get it to you?

I'm not padding the shipping cost any - just using the Priority Mail boxes from the PO.

The coupon code is active now - so you don't actually have to wait until Monday!

Aprons will be coming tomorrow - and the skin serum is going on sale too!

Here's a sneak peek of one of the aprons.

Thanks a million for your support here.

Me staying home = more blogging = happy readers = happy Jayme.

November Dreams

2011-11-22T05:31:00.000-06:00

akamonsoon.wordpress.com

It's happening again.

It happens right around this time of the year - when my heart seams seem to nearly burst from all the goodness and light of the holidays.

The chilled turkey carcass is still nestled in it's plastic net, yet -

I can smell it.

I can hear the pots and pans rattling and envision whisking hopes and dreams into the gravy.

We are on the cusp of the most wonderful time of the year.

It's like being on a roller coaster and there's that moment of stillness before you plunge head first -

This is when 'it' happens.

newgre.org

'It' being - me thinking anything is possible.

'It' being - me making high in the sky apple pie dreams of gardens, poultry, triathlons, size six jeans, more bee hives, tapping maple trees and assorted shenanigans.

What is it about November that gets me all up in arms?

I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that I can only plan everything and not actually have to do the work.

There are no triathlons in Indiana in November.

charliebroadway.blogspot.com

There are no plantings of gardens and baby chick purchases in November.

urbanfarming.wordpress.com

123rf.com

There is no adding beehives in November.

panaramio.com

There's just thinking about it.

And when all you can do is think about it - sister - don't you just think you are capable of going to the moon and back?

I do.

But think about it I will - and plan it I will - and come time to actually do it -

I'm sure I'll adjust that list.

Here's to another beauty full ordinary day my friends!

Dream big!

Filled Full

2011-11-21T06:11:00.000-06:00

It's 5:22am.

I just finished eating turkey sausage and a couple of Cuties.

I have three loads of laundry waiting until it's light enough outside so I can hang them -

Crock pot apple butter is in the making.

I started to shampoo the carpet - but it's still too dark for that -

so I thought I'd check in with all y'all.

I've been making a real effort to stay away from the computer - wanting to be fully present at home this week.

I kept my entire schedule clear this week, and stayed off the phone too.

The BoyChild was here.

: - )

Between the love of the BoyChild and my staying put all week - it truly has been one of the best weeks in my recent memory.

Now, that's not saying much - since I'm notorious for a bad memory - which does, I must admit - come in handy at times.

I hold no grudges - since I can never remember what it is that someone has done.

It was the most ordinary week ever - and sisters - can I just tell you this -

Ordinary is fabulous.

We went to the gym a few times - and he had gymnastics training on Thursday - but other than that -

we stayed put.

He even got homework done.

For real.

Whilst he was at school - I worked my fingers to the bones sewing.

I'm going to confess that I listened to Christmas music whilst I sewed, sang along loudly, and I may or may not have never been happier.

See this heating pad cover?

Over 15 years in the making my friends.

I bought that fabric when Aaron was born - planning on making a heating pad cover.

FIFTEEN YEARS later.

It's done.

I did tell you that 'Finish' was my word of 2012, right?

I started a little business called 'Coop Keeper Creations' and I'll be unveiling my aprons that I've sewn this week on Etsy - planning a big 'Cyber Monday' sale!

Remember when I talked about getting a job a week or so ago? I feel that I may have mis-communicated in some way why I wanted a job - trust me - it had nothing to do with fulfillment - or lack of things to do.

It was purely financial.

I'm completed filled full here at home - mentally and emotionally.

It dawned on me that I'm not even using the talents I have here at home to make a little extra cash - so I've been putting my hands to the spindle, so to speak.

I'm even starting to like the porch - I love looking through the kitchen window at it - it looks super cozy that way -

Glenco's making me a rustic 8' long wooden table for the porch out of a pile of old lumber we found in a dumpster this summer.

Fingers crossed it's done by Thanksgiving!

So I say - here's to a wonderful, ordinary, beauty full Monday.

Celebrate the ordinary.

Take time to notice how the light is changing at this time of year - and how it moves in your home.

Take time to be present in your home - giving your family your all.

Give yourself your all.

Make a nice dinner tonight.

Be nice.

Close the computer up - turn off the phone ringer -

breathe.

It might be the last chance you get til January.

Homemade Laundry Soap - A Video Tutorial

2011-11-14T11:11:00.002-06:00

Apron up girls!

It's Monday - a fresh new start, on a fresh new week.

I have two loads of wet sheets, and it just thundered - loudly.

Not a good day to hang laundry I'm reckoning.

But - alas - it 'tis laundry day, and I love it so.

I love the sound of the machine, the smells, the restoring of order.

I loves me some laundry.

Here's a video showing you how you too can be frugalicious like me - make your own laundry soap - impress your friends, save the environment AND your pocketbook.

Does anyone really call it a pocketbook anymore?

I didn't think so.

I use about a half a cup per load, a little more on heavily soiled clothes.

My friend Debby sent me this after reading the blog today:

I make this laundry soap and it is THE best! And not because it is so cheap, it gets my clothes cleaner than any other laundry soap I have used. It has gotten out blood, mustard, mud, grass stains, and even set in stains. Here is the calcu...lations I made with how much it costs to make this soap compared to other soap. Prices are based on about a month ago from Town and Country.

Price comparisons
All calculations are based on the national avg. of 400 loads of laundry per family per year, or 7.69 loads per week

Tide $12.99/64 loads .20/load=$80/yr
Gain $5.99/32 loads .19/load=$76/yr
All $4.29/32 loads .13/load=$52/yr
Trend $2.49/38 loads .7/load=$28/yr
(generic brand)

Fels Naptha soap $1.19/bar
Arm&Hammer Super Washing Soda $2.99/55oz box
20 Mule Team Borax $4.49/76 oz box
One box of the washing soda will make just under 7 batches of soap, and the borax will make exactly 19 batches.

One batch of soap calculates out to:
$1.19/Fels Naptha
.49/Washing soda
.24/Borax
$1.92 per 10 gallons

10 gal (64oz) divided by 2 oz./load=320 loads/batch=.006/load

Final cost per year=$2.40!!!!!!!!!!

Cuban Pork Tacos with The BoyChild

2011-11-13T19:46:00.000-06:00

The BoyChild is mine! All mine!

Seven glorious days of love and laughter.

I'm sitting at the gym with him now - while he's doing his gymnastics practice.

Doesn't this pic make you hurt?

It does me.

Aaron helped me stretch the other day.

It's just a good thing I'm too old to birth babies because I do believe

he's permanently relocated my uterus.

I think it's where my lungs were.

One of my favorite things to do is to feed the BoyChild.

He's an adventurous eater - much more than I am.

He'll try anything once. If I don't like the look of it, the smell of it, or the name of it - I won't.

I love that about him - he loves food and loves to try new things.

He was all up and over these Cuban Pork Tacos tonight.

Clean eating or not - these were so delicious they were 'ridickerous'.

The picture really doesn't do them justice.

Click HERE for the recipe.

The fresh pineapple salsa?

Forget it.
I couldn't believe the flavor!

It's my fault that I've been eating rather plain for months - it's just been easier - or maybe I've been lazy.

This recipe looked a bit involved at first - but it wasn't.

Now - here's the kicker for me - I didn't do the whole avocado thing - or the corn tortilla thing.

I'm not a fan of the avocado.

What's up with the texture of it?

I react to it almost as much as the dreaded cotton ball.

*shudders*

I steamed some cauliflower -

chopped it up rrrreeaallll fine like and faked myself into thinking I was eating rice.

I just put the meat and salsa over it.

It's pretty danged spicy - so if you aren't the spicy loving kind - I'd suggest that you cut the cayenne and red pepper down some.

I may be singing 'Ring of Fire' tomorrow.

Amen.

Chicken Chat - Your Daily Drivel

2011-11-12T15:24:00.000-06:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled weekend to give you your daily dose of drivel.

The pilgrim's butts are lit up and the happy couple are resting comfortably on the back porch.

My ridiculously large lunch was photo worthy.

Mountains of broccoli, valleys of peas, and plains of a turkey meatloaf.

Remember this nightmare?

I'm still working on it.

Law.

I feel like cutting the front porch off the front of the house and burning it.

I still want this photo -

I think.

This is what the porch looks like of now.

It may change before I post this blog post.

I already know the orange flowers are history.

I have no idea why I'm struggling with this so.

Instead of painting the table, I put a burlap piece over it - that I got from my beans for coffee roasting.

I'd found this rug in the trash years ago.

The floor color still needs to change.

Law - it's a PORCH Jayme -

but it's just gotta 'feel right' to me -

And the juiciest bit of drivel for the day -

this punk is coming today and spending a week with me.

A week!

His momma done be gone up on her honeymoon.

He has no idea what he's in for - it's gonna be a bit like rehab for him - early mornings - early bedtimes - lots of vegetables - and very little TV.

Oh the horror!

way back in the day - when we were young and homeschooled - those were the days my friend, I thought they'd never end.

The Legend of Twisty Fitzgerald - Lessons from a Hen

2011-11-11T10:04:00.000-06:00

Yesterday.....

2011-11-08T06:44:00.001-06:00

....all my troubles seemed so....

right up in my face.

And then along came you.

I'ma thankin' you from the bottom of my bottomless heart.

For realz.

Each and every comment was like a love note straight to me heart.

It appears that some crazy hormonal woman hacked my blog yesterday and started talking about not blogging and going to work full time.

Pfft.

Like that would happen.

I'd burst a blood vessel if I couldn't talk.

I just needed a bit of encouragement, a bit of 'you are on the right path', a bit of 'you are loved'.

And don't we all?

Selah.

Yesterday was a day, m'goodness it was.

Gloomy as heck.

After I posted my blog post I got the house chores done, planned dinner (Chicken Breasts with a balsamic glaze, sweet potatoes and broccoli)

and decided to head to the gym to do my back, triceps and cardio.

I like saying 'today is back and tris'

Makes me feel cool.

Right before I left for the gym, I wrangled myself into my compression stockings.

I started wearing these a few months ago because I was experiencing leg cramps, leg heaviness, and honestly? I thought it might squeeze the fat out of my legs somehow.

Come to find out - from being a tub most of my life, I've veinous insufficiency in my legs, causing me to have low blood pressure - the stockings do milk my legs and help my blood pressure stay in the normal range. Helps me not pass out when I stand up. I appreciate that.

Milk my legs?

That makes me gag a little.

But!

No more leg cramps and I must say that my legs feel more energetic.

Oh they are heavenly.

And they are expensive.

And I put a big ole run in a brand new pair yesterday.

photo from honeyrunfarm.blogspot.com

And then - I had ONE frame of honey left to extract, and I really thought I oughta do that before I went to the gym.

Procrastinate much?

Glenco made me this contraption.

Oh it's a Jerry-rigged contraption if you've ever seen one.

It's a honey extractor of sorts - still in it's infant stages - still tweaking to be done -

and little did I know - it should not be, or I should say 'I should not be' operating it without adult (Glenco) supervision.

Long story short - I suffered a deep puncture wound in my hand.

It's ok now! Very sore, a tad swollen.

It's right about then when I lost it.

Law - I boohooed for 10 minutes.

"I should have gone to college!"

"Why didn't I birth no babies!?"

"If I had a high powered important job I wouldn't be puncturing myself on a homemade honey extractor!"

"Why didn't my parents get me braces!?"

It was right about then I realized I was dealing with a 'brotha from anotha motha'.

The 'H' word.

Hormones.

And then I started giggling a little and I dried my tears and tended my wounded hand and went to the gym.

(this is getting kinda long - sorry - hormonal ramblings do that to a girl - you might want a refill on whatever it is you're drinking)

When I got to the gym there was a really large young man sweating all over the cable row machine I needed. He finished up, cleaned the machine off and we started chatting a bit. I could tell he was extremely nervous in my presence (I do have that effect on people) and he was very chatty, not in a creepy way - but a self conscious way - I told him how I'd lost over a 100lbs, and he could too - to never give up - and to come and talk to me anytime he sees me in the gym, and needs encouragement.

Whilst I was doing my cable back rows, with perfect form by the way - it hit me - is that what I was like when I was heavy(er)? Is that why people think I'm so peaceful now? I no longer feel self conscious - I no longer care what people are thinking about me.

Interesting....

It felt good to get a good workout in.

You know - even when you don't know 'the big picture' for your life at times, you always know the little picture. You still need to do the things that need to be done. Workout, chores, cook dinner, dress yourself!!

The thrift store happened to be opening as I left the gym - and I stopped in and found an awesome pink cashmere cardigan for a dolla!

I found a sweet knit skirt and gray sweater - a great fall outfit - for two dollas!

And just when you thought life couldn't get any better -

(hormonal swing much?)

I went to the library and found a few fabulous books -

"Pretty Little Potholders" was one - (gotta start Christmas gifts!)

Last night - as I went to bed - I felt tremendously blessed.

I snapped this photo right before I jumped in bed.

I started singing "People Who Need People" loudly in my best Barbara Streisand voice.

Glenco wasn't too amused cause he'd bedded down 10 minutes earlier, and unbeknownst to me had already fallen asleep.

Ooops.

Returning to My Roots

2011-11-07T07:56:00.000-06:00

Lord have mercy.

It's the 7th of November.

Do you realize what this means?

Neither do I.

OK.

I need to spill some beans here.

I'm flummoxed.

That means 'confused, at a loss, perplexed'.

I've been sitting in my living room spot, with a large mug of lukewarm English breakfast tea, with my hoodie hood up - answering emails since 5:30am. It's now 7:23am.

One of the emails that I responded to was a dear reader asking me about my housecleaning routine.

I referred her to this

http://talefromthecoopkeeper.blogspot.com/search/label/Frugalicious%20Domesticity

And then I started reading some of my old posts from that series.

Law.

I liked that series.

Honestly - I feel that my blog has been on life support for some time now.

I feel like I've nothing funny, nor important to say.

I feel that I oughta pull the plug on it before it dies a slow, painful, gaspy death.

My blog is alot like Seinfeld - it's really a blog about nothing.

It's just a snippet of my life - and I don't sugar coat it - don't embellish it - it just is me.

Honestly, I can't believe y'all have stuck with me for as long as you do - and when I hear from you via comments and emails - it just brightens me up, from the inside out.

Lately, I've been second guessing so much of life.

Maybe it's losing 75 lbs recently and finding the new me.

Maybe it's turning 50 in a few months.

Maybe it's none of the above and I just need therapy and meds.

February 2011

latest pic of me - second from left - October 2011

What I've really been second guessing lately is my decision to stay home full time.

I mean - wouldn't a smart person just go out and work like a maniac and build up a nice sized bank account?

Shouldn't I do that?

I often feel guilty when I talk to my friends that do work full-time.

I've been there and done that - and I know first hand what a stress that can be at times, but I also know the joy of the feeling of having a purpose, enjoying work friendships, and well - enjoying money!

I mean - can I REALLY bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let Glenco forget he's a man?

Honestly, I'd rather not try.

ll the drivel here to say that I think I've just lost my way recently. I think that psychologically there is something about losing a great deal of weight that you end up redefining yourself.

I've had two highly respected friends tell me recently how calm I seem.

How I exude peace.

Me?

ADHD Poster Child?

Peace?

Yep.

And I think is some way - that this new found peace feeling - as foreign as it is to me, and yet what I have purposely cultivated in my life - makes me feel downright boring.

Am I?

Law. I hope not.

So all of this to ask this -

what were/are your favorite parts of my blog?

I feel the need to return to my roots - about being home - loving home - being frugal - gardening - cooking -

What say ye?

(oh and I bet you thought I forgot to answer all those questions that you guys asked me on the honey giveaway - well, you'd be right - gonna answer them this week.)